Whispering...

The clear blue sky today

2011-03-01T20:28:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged.
Reason why I am writing this post? Because I have a 2000 word essay to write, and I seem to have lost my touch for writing totally. Every time I start to write, my mind is like this

yes thats the end. For those who dont know, thats the html syntax for an empty screen.

Rambling rambling..

I will be heading back to Malaysia in June. Hopefully.
See everyone there :)

h3

2011-01-18T09:52:00.005+08:00

the date :)

Show encrypted text

Hmmm?

2011-01-13T09:49:00.003+08:00

Lol. this 2 days i've done evil things :) just for the lolz though.
yesterday, i went to the pantheon in paris, and visited the crypt made for people who contributed to france. Like victor hugo, alexandre dumas, so on so forth. I was like making fun of everything, due to hyper mode lol. Some of the tombs were open though. Hence, I challenged myself to brave the tomb. Gosh.The creeps still scares me.

Today I went to the Louvre, the entire museum was filled with Jesus.. no offense to christians, or anyone out there. The entire museum is in French, i have no idea what it was saying. The only thing i can do is just find some fun in what i see :P

Well, one of the sculptures had jesus on the cross, with a teddy bear tied to his waist :P at least thats what i think i saw hahahahaha.

Well anyway, even though the trip is really enjoyable, I still felt like something is missing. Jono and Neeko having a great time, and all i can think of is.. :)

*Wish you're here. IMY*

2011-01-12T06:14:00.012+08:00

Hint : something i call you :P

and your name :)

Wow

2011-01-06T08:52:00.004+08:00

didn know people are still reading :P

anyway, i think i just got myself a potential girlfriend. one that i believe, will last :)

i will post more info is this gets confirmed :)

Woot

2010-12-31T05:38:00.003+08:00

seems like there's quite a few people back to blogging spree. maybe i should make a few posts as well? :)

i'm trying to change my direction. instead of showing myself to the world, i'm going to be more reserved. I keep my personal thoughts to myself now, thus appearing more hyped/friendly to the world, and less emotional. Seems like people prefer it this way too :)

Just for the lolz

2010-11-04T22:49:00.003+08:00

I realised that it has been ages since I last wrote anything. Am i losing my writing skills? Yes i am. I speak computer now and it looks like that

functionEatYou food mouthSize

| mouthSize > food = False

| let food = mouthSize

| ...

so on and so forth. I can barely write english now. I even have trouble writing a cover letter, forming a normal sentence. And it is bugging me.

I have this ego that reminds me that i am better than everyone else. And this ego is having a major injury lately. From time to time, i visit the blogs of my secondary schoolmates. Instinctively, I expect rubbish posts using broken english writing a post that pains me to read them. Sorry guys, but my ego takes over from time to time :P But i'm not here to flame. What i want to say is i'm really happy to find out that most of my friends back home wrote perfectly. In fact, way better than i do. Or even better than what i used to be. Sucks to admit, i'm losing out, even though i'm in UK.

So now, on this blog that no one reads, i sincerely apologise to everyone i've looked down before. Sorry guys. You guys proved to be more than a match to me. Keep up the good work. Go Malaysia. :)

The Undead

2010-10-10T23:04:00.003+08:00

I had an absolutely horrrible day today.

To cut things short,

i was up till 4am for the past few days, doing work.

Sat night - Sunday morning. best time to sleep isnt it?

This is how my day went.

8.30 alarm rang. Turned it off because i needed more sleep.

10.00 alarm rang, woke up.

10.10 downstairs started raging music. non stop.

i started playing HoN since i cant focus with rage music all the way.

Played soul reaper ( necro ) was winning then game.. then.. Disconnected.

Restarted laptop, restarted router downstairs, rejoined the game, only to disconnect again.

This repeated 4 times.

in the meantime, other than the noob router not recognising my ip as my ip, it just wants to register my ip as some fucking imaginary pc's ip. Disallows me to get connected since it's duplicate ip. what was i saying? oh right. other than the noob router's case, there's once where i disconnected because of power cut. How awesome is this?

I kept going on and off from 10.00 am all the way till 3.45 pm.

And for your information, the process that i need to get connected again is such :

restart pc -> restart router -> hope it works. otherwise, restart pc again.

Work

2010-06-24T20:19:00.002+08:00

I started work 4 days ago, and did some actual work starting yesterday. Had my first interview ever too.

Looking back, i realise how much i've grown this past year. Not in terms of height of course. :p

Certain people in my life, which i've once considered best friends, they seem to me like they're kids. Choice of words, they way they carry themselves, etc. I guess going overseas did change me a lil afterall. Comparing friends from uni and other friends, it's only when i realise exactly what had changed.

At work, i realise how some of my old friends 'act busy'. I guess it does make you feel awesome and important when you're busy handling something. I admit, i was victim to this thought back then. Now, everyone's actually busy, but they try not to look so, so that people around them dont feel 'pressured'? i guess. I was lying my head on the table while thinking how to write a certain program, then a colleague came over and told me "hey why are you so stressed? you need some help?" wow. i wasnt even trying to look busy. and i wasnt stressed of course. since then, i sat up straight all the way.

but i'm really quite proud to say that i do know people who havent been abroad, and yet they are very matured. heck, some of them are 1 year younger, but they act like adults. It's just rather sad looking at people who are 21, and still act like a kid.

meh. i miss days when i fight with people over nonsense. it's just gone. long gone.

Birthday

2010-06-07T18:38:00.002+08:00

This is how my birthday went.

12.00am -2.30 gastric attack while playing HoN

2.30-3.45am went out for a walk + food with jonathan + rob

11.30am wokeup. just sat in front of my comp.

12.07pm fiona wished me happy birthday

12.30pm tried to study, played o2mania instead

1pm-6pm reedited my fb profile, so that my bday shows. replying people's bday wishes. feeling empty, and rather pointless.

5,30pm dinner as usual

7.30pm-11.59 studied in the library for a while, saw something on facebook that just threw me off. was pissed for about an hour. came back, some HoN, bed

yay

How much i love you

2010-06-01T02:17:00.002+08:00

Linky

thats a video of a girl breaking up with a guy, and then getting back together again.

which made me wonder. Is relationships really based around love? How much you love the other person? Or is it how much effort you're willing to put in to make the love work?

I lost myself last night.

It looks like i'm gonna have yet another lonely birthday.

Timid

2010-05-29T20:16:00.002+08:00

Theories are never the same as as reality.

I have alot of theories, but one by one, reality seem to prove them wrong, again, again, and again.

I let you step into my life, i allowed you, unconciously, to take over a big part of my life. But will you let me into yours?

Everyone has a past, a current, and a future. The past defines you, the current makes you, and the future is your dreams.

You have a past, which i hardly know about. I am willing to listen, to know you. Would you let me? It may be a pain to look back into the past, because looking at yourself is always painful. Realising mistakes, from situations you once think you were 100% correct.

You have a current, which you sometimes block me out. You have a current, which you sometimes let me in. Are you going to let the past define you, current and future? Or are you ready to open yourself up, for new definitions, new dreams? Creating new possibilities, obtaining new chances, striving for what seems like a brighter future. Are you ready?

You have a future. Will I be in your future? Dreams create the most fragile thing that looks most solid, hope. Dreams are the candle when you're lost in the dark, it's the lighthouse in the rough stormy sea. Dreams is who you want to be. You're part of my dream, am i part of yours?

There's always storms in life. There's plenty of sunshine too. But be real, how much of your life do they take part? Most of life is made up of drizzly, shiny day. At the same times, whats nice about the storm? Whats nice about the sun? Isnt it the best, when you get a rainbow when you have a rainy day in the sun, when the beautiful rainbow show's itself? Life isnt about surviving the storm, or enjoying the sunshine, but instead, it's about how you dance happily in the rain, along with your loved ones. I want to dance this rain with you, will you take my hand?

I am ready to accept your past, share you current, and create a future with you. Will you let me?

Many loves to you fee. Please let me walk with you in this rain. ;)

Thoughts yet again

2010-04-25T03:46:00.002+08:00

Today i wrote a facebook status, saying that if you leave a footprint in the sand, it might get washed away by the waves, but if u place a stone there, it might get buried under the sand, but it'll always be there.

Jonathan argued that the stone will eventually get crushed by the waves.

Initially i was like o.O memories dont get wiped out easily. Stones stay there for millions of years.

But then i start thinking,

what does stones become when they get crushed?

Events in a relationship are like the big stones on the sand. Footprints are the daily messages, and things like that. Waves is how you handle it.

Messages dont matter. It gets forgotten very soon. Telling someone how much u love him/her everyday isnt anything. It's the big events that make the seashore the beautiful shore it is. Without the stones, there wont be sand, there wont be memories. Good things are like small pebbles, bad things are like big rocks. Even though big chunk of rocks here and there doesnt make a perfect seashore, it still makes a nice view isnt it? Hard edges get smoothened out, and soon it'll be smooth to touch, loved by tourists, they sit on them too.

Isnt it better if you always look at the bigger picture? Why pick on 1 bad stone, when you have a whole seashore of nice memories to look at?

I have been angry, but now that i look at the big picture, it's still beautiful. Time may be required, but eventually it'll work out.

I still love the seashore, i love it's hidden treasures, awaiting me to find out. Anything can be under those sand. May it be good or bad, I'm readying myself to accept it as it is.

Many loves to you, if you're read this.

心情不好

2010-04-24T09:07:00.002+08:00

Complicated feelings, so much on my mind. It's getting really heavy.

Much revolve around you, yet i find no reason that you're wrong in any way.

Am i dissapointed? Honestly, i dont know.

The person i love doing the thing i hate, this is the face --> :S

yet there's nothing wrong in it,

but everything is wrong.

things are getting really shitty. i really need to pick myself up.

i suddenly realise that im such a bad person.

i care

when i dont care

exams coming

When you step into another person's shoes

2010-03-27T00:48:00.004+08:00

Is this ever possible? To actually put yourself into someone elses shoes, and think how they would think? I believe not. How is anyone supposed to know and understand your exact background? Every single memory you have? and besides, not influenced by their own thoughts, and decide solely based on your judgement? But then again, this just proves that every single soul is unique, and will never be the same.

Then again, this defines you. So why should you think like someone else, be someone else, just to please them? Selfish thought, but it is true. If i was asked what i learnt in uni, the 1st thing i'd answer you is to be selfish. Care about yourself, more than you care about anyone else. People in general of course. The perfect model to be a great person would be someone who is outspoken like british, they voice out when they're treated unfairly, they fight for their rights, but at the same time, learn the value of being humble, which chinese overdo-s. Be humble when you voice your thoughts, let your superior speak. And personally, i'd add 1 more thing, which is to learn how to shut up. Learn to ignore idiotic comments, and smile at them instead. oh yeah, this is something i've practiced so much here. I smile at you when i dont like u.

"Hello there," *smile* #undertone = fuck you

Okay i'm way off topic. This is because I cant decide what to talk about.

when you're talking about putting yourself in your girlfriend/family/friend shoes = you mean you actually have to be them, care about their thoughts

when you're talking about putting yourself in your boss's shoes = his ego and i suppose the company's best interest?

it's 2 complete different things.

if there's an actual skill that allows souls to transfer body and transfer back, i would do it. I think it'd open your eyes very much when you look/feel/touch through someone elses sensors. a whole new world =)

point is, people keep comparing themselves to other people, getting jealous of someone else, because of who they are, their achievements. i'd say i myself have fallen victim to such a thought. Comparing, wanting to be someone else. however, it's nice enough to know that the person you care the most about, thinks that you'll always be the best in her eyes. And fee, i thank you for that =)

growing up makes you evil =( fake smiles, fake laughter, fake fake fake fake. ooh how i wish my assignments and exams are all fake too =(

其实自己一个更开心
只等你讲
其实大家早已嫌大家却扮忙
恨有多一点碰撞
仍然无聊事干不敢打搅对方
要是你愿意
诚实讲一趟
彼此都起码觉得释放
不要哭
我也忍得了这些年来的委曲
没法真心爱下去
只好真心真意的结束
别再做情人
做只猫做只狗
不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你不瞅不睬
最终只会成为敌人
沦为旧朋友　是否又称心
没有心　只像闲人
若有空　难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生　你怎么手震
长期被迫恋爱也真的　失恋更惨
长期扮演若无其事般　更困难
是我专登反应慢
明明为时甚晚
牌一早该要摊
再像我伴侣　仍望多一眼
一生都将会记得今晚
这预告发自虔诚内心
对不起
自动分手错愕的你怕会伤感
盲目的我
现在也可转台来贺你新生
和你相交不浅无谓明日会被你憎

:)

2010-03-26T08:22:00.006+08:00

being in a relationship actually brought me back alot of memories, feelings that i've never felt in a long time.

is it possible for you to miss someone even when you ARE talking to that person? i dunno. but thats how i feel

it does surprise me how the other person's mood can directly affect your mood. it's scary. does that show that i care?

there's so many questions i feel like asking, but dare not. i feel like i'm quite an attention seeker when it comes to relationships. i need to control. less. control..

meh. i'm not a good boyfriend =.=

thats probably the bottom line to all my questions

if i could i'd go all the way to london this moment. seriously. i love you

me: does that mean you're going to love me depending on situations too?

fee : no you silly :D

this made my day =)

Loves lolx

2010-03-18T08:52:00.003+08:00

This is an official apology to all the girls i met in college =)

Few days ago, i was discussing with my friend about girls, and for some reason i made a list of all the girls i've said 'i like you' before during college. and mehh. the number IS scary lolx. i guess i wasnt as serious as i thought i was :| serves me right for not getting a proper one =)

dont ask me for the number, or who is involved. no way i'm saying lol.

however, if i plot them into a graph, i'll get something like that

where origin is Jan 2008, peak is around august - oct 2008, end is may 2009

y axis is the number lolx.

well, for a reason i've yet to know, i just stopped the entire "flower heart" business since the exams.

but the one good thing i know, is that i stopped. and i stopped for good.

from june till october, i hafta admit i did like someone, but i had always knew that her and I wouldnt work out, so yehh, i never did anything anyway. all i did was being a friend. =)

and since then, under weird circumstances, i met someone else, which i have not stopped liking since.

i know this is different. this will be different. and i know because i WANT it to be different. this time i actually want this to work out, thus i will work for it. and i will wait. i have been waiting anyway lol.

i was gaming Little Fighter 2 when she sent me an IM, and i died in LF2 lolx. her 'hey' and nothing else is more tempting than games hahaha. too bad dota is full screen :D

1 more thing. i am considering playing World of Warcraft. should i? i'm not playing just to have fun, more of because i feel like i might want to work in blizzard in the future.

things have been sucky, previously, but it's great lately. schoolwork is difficult, but at least i'm not the only one facing difficulty. i'm already alot closer to par now =) relationship is great because i found someone to focus on. someone worthy. and she's 100% my type not because she fits me, but because i changed my opinion of what i want for her haha.

ok i'm sounding very cheesy.

cheese out

Lol

2010-03-10T20:27:00.001+08:00

the day u start believing the word 'Trust' exists, is the day ur doom starts

2010-03-09T16:37:00.002+08:00

there's always a moment when you just feel lost.

it feels like a solitary ship, floating in the middle of a massive ocean,

heading nowhere.

the wind blows on the sails,

sometimes strong, sometimes weak

but there you are, not directing the ship in any direction

then one of your sailors shouts "land ahoy!"

but is there really?

could be a mirage? how could you know for sure?

building your courage based on the most fragile thing in the world,

hope,

you gather yourself, and sail towards land.

will you find land?

it slips in and out of vision,

sometimes near, sometimes far.

is it really moving?

or is it just you, that is sometimes moving in the wrong direction?

will you get there?

it's up to you to believe.

i think i see land. thats what my sailor tells me,

and i am trying to move towards it.

i really am.

whats land like?

i fear

i really do.

it's been really long since i last landed.

but i want to.

for you.

Pfft

2010-03-05T05:42:00.002+08:00

super bad exam results.

only second class.

due to a tonne of bullshit

今天有个坏的开始，完美的晚上

心动的感觉，真的很开心

argh...

2010-03-01T17:59:00.003+08:00

it's first of march.

march, april, may, june, july.

less than half a year before i go home for summer hols.

what have i achieved?

today's song

What if I told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me, would you agree?
Its almost that feeling that we've met before so tell me that you dont think Im crazy when I tell your love is here and now.

A Moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Everything changes, but beauty remains.
Something so tender I cant explain.
Well I may be dreaming but til I awake..Can we make the dream last forever?
And I'll cherish all the love we share for a moment like this.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

The speed of waiting love of all.
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall.
So let me tell you this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...

Some people search a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Mehhh!

2010-02-27T08:47:00.003+08:00

There's always facebook groups about things girls wants, and they dont say, or guy dont know.

Today i stumbled across a page about what guys wants, and girl dont know. And i realised how rubbish this is. My comments are all in italics

1. Keep an open relastionship (Let him date other girls and keep things open, but you can only see him.)

This is so not fucking true.

2. He doesnt wanna hear about your boring-ass day, so dont tell him.

Wrong again. Tell me. I'm more than willing to be a listener than a talker
3. Have HUGE tits, like DD's.

DD? And what? A waist like 24? or 38? Dont be stupid. Be proportionate. But to be honest, have a nice pair or dont have it at all.
4. Let him keep his jacket, he's cold too.

Mehh. This is only for retards. True, we are cold, but we're more than willing to keep the ones we love warm.
5. Kiss him fast and with A LOT of tounge.

Bull yet again. Kisses differs on situations :| but truth to be told, i dont know :D

Are you remembering this?

6. He doesnt want to be like Edward Cullen, so shut the fuck up about him.

Ok i hate him. But dont shut the fuck up. Arguing about how stupid he is to me and how godly he is to you is fun.
7. Buy him things, not like a teddy bear, but season tickets to his favorite team.

No. Seriously, everything you buy makes a difference. But please dont get me stupid useless things :| Teddy bears are fine =)
8. If your jokes arent funny, he wont laugh.

Lol. this is half true :|
9. He doesnt need alone time, he needs NOT YOU time.

Uh. I need game time =)
10. If you're hangin' out, and you see some of his friends go do something else for a while

uhh... it really depends

KEEP READING

11. Let him look at other girls. Its your fault for not being that good lookin'.

mehh. know the limit. dont let his body wander off too =)
12. He doesnt want to pose for all of your pictures, so dont even bring a camera.

:D:D:D:D:D
13. Dont sit on his lap, if youre over 100 lbs. your fat.

Lol. If you're over 100 lbs, i wont like you =)
14. Give him complements, like 'Youre the king shit of fuck mountain' not 'Youre sweet'

what the. o.O
15. Even if its little, tell him he has a HUGE cock.

lol no experience =)

Are you thinking of someone?

16. If he's pissed, dont say anything to him, we need man time.

SO NOT TRUE. Talk to be, because we need an outlet. But please let us throw our tempers like how you throw yours on us =)
17. If he passes gas, dont act disgusted, smile, or ignore it.

o.O no comment
18. If we feel you up in public, dont say anything.

again, o.O if you dont enjoy it, please say it =.=
19. You must be young, because nothing beats nailing a woman half your age.

o.O lulz
20. Dont talk about your feelings, we feel gay

talkkkkkkk~~~

One last thing you need to do to show him you actually do mean it.

21. Get your own Goddamn door.
22. Tell him he's your everything - because he is, you have nothing else better.
23. If he calls you by the wrong name, dont get mad, its cute.
24. Pay for your own food. We had to buy gas to drive you.
25. ^ Even if he didnt drive you, its like 5 bucks, pay for it yourself.

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO SHUT UP!!

26. Let him grab your ass in front of people you know.
27. If he didnt buy u a gift, dont worry about it. He may have more important things to spend his money on.
28. If you want to go somewere, then go. But that doesnt mean he has to go, has probably has better things to do.
29. Dont txt him. You'll run up a bill.
30. If he's not there for you when you need him, that sucks, but thats what you have friends for.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. If youre cold, he might hold you, but if he's warm, its your fault for not wearing a coat
32. When you are ALONE, let him find some friends to talk to.
33. NEVER kiss his cheeck, its makes him feel gay.
34. While in the movies, if he pulls the popcorn trick on you, dont get upset get excited, and get a hunful of 'Popcorn'
35. If he tells you to leave, and he's joking, you fucked up and did something wrong, so dont talk.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WIT HIM NEXT

36. When people DISS him, if its a girl, go bat-shit crazy and attack her. (Perferably near mud)
37. Never look into his eyes while he's looking into yours.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put his head on your chest, so he can 'Hear your heartbeat.'
39. Laugh at all of his jokes, or whenever he does something funny.
40. Don't worry if he forgot about your anniversary, he has more important things on his mind, like nailing your sister

MAKE SURE HE KNOWS HES DOMINATE

41. If he has some trouble with the law, or just doesnt want to work, let him crash at your house.
42. If youre crying, dont go near him, he doesnt want to hear your problems.
43. Take his dog for LONG walks at night.
44. If you walk in on him cheating on you, join in.

lol
45. Let him talk about whatever he wants, and listen, but dont make any comments.

NOOOO.. Comment =)

Personality test

2010-02-21T23:44:00.002+08:00

Get to know yourself better

Dear Lim He Hui, below are your Personality Tests result:

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Your view on yourself:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Other people find you very interesting

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :But you are really hiding your true self

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Your friends love you because you are a good listener

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like serious

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Smart

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Determined people

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You don't judge a book by its cover

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that pe

The seriousness of your love:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :So you will find yourself with plenty of dates

Your views on education:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Education is less important than the real world out there

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Away from the classroom

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Deep inside you want to start working

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Earning money

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Living on your own

The right job for you:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You're a practical person

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Will choose a secure job with a steady income

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Knowing what you like to do is important

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Find a regular job doing just that

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You'll be set for life

How do you view success:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are afraid of failure

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you d

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous

What are you most afraid of:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Independence is important to you

how true is this describing me? :D

i think it's pretty true for some reason.

since i picked every single based on instinct.

19/02/2010

2010-02-19T21:47:00.003+08:00

this marks the 1st week after i'm here for half a year.

out of a sudden, i just wish to have my fortune told. about 2 things.

1. what the F**K is going to be the result of this stupid arguement.

2. whats my chances in meeting a good girl this year? or rather, someone that suits me.

i want my piano..

to be able to express myself in my music to myself

to listen to the softness of each note ringing

and gradually

it gets louder as emotions runs high

and louder

and when it reaches the peak of the music

when you can no longer tell the notes apart

when it sounds like a masterpiece of notes weaved between each other

and all out of a sudden, it's volume drops

back to the original softness

where you remind yourself, how simple love can be

where you can enjoy bits of small things

like how you enjoy listening to each note clearly,

softly

love is like music, where it grows, getting more and more beautiful, it is a masterpiece, beautiful. but one always have to remind himself, that no matter what, it is still built from the small, simple notes, where it really matters

find a piano that you really like,

be it a bright piano, like yamaha

or one with harder notes and sounds more muffled, like kawaii

or maybe you want a grand piano?

or just a simple casio keyboard?

when you choose your piano, choose one that suits you,

one where you feel the touch is just right for you

one where suits the song you're about to play

Big Year Chu One

2010-02-14T22:01:00.005+08:00

Feeling freaking thirsty for some reason. Dont know why though.

I was told that if children stay up tonight, it'll bring your parents good health. Since it's a saturday-sunday thing, i stayed up whole night :D

Sometimes i feel like i need to be cared :| to answer 'how are you' questions instead of asking them. from people i like? hopefully...

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, i'll be waiting, all thats left to do is run, you'll be the prince and i'll be the princess, it's a love story, babe just say yeah.."

Is it possible for something like that to happen? A perfect story, a perfect ending?

Yesterday I've been talking to a few friends, who all have different opinions..

One which said that 2 people cant really know each other for too long before they fall in love. Because if you know the other person's weakpoints before you fall in love, that pervents you from falling in love. But if you know the weakpoints after you fall in love, you'll probably put more effort into changing it for your partner, or at least try to get used to the weakpoint.

Another believes in the typical love story, where 2 people know each other, slowly, fall in love, and stay together forever.

But seriously girls, which works better for you?

Well the conclusion of the discussion somehow ended up with this statement:

" you should go to hongkong. at least the girls will go after the guys there, not just a 1 way street"

yeah it's kinda lol

sometimes it's really easy to get jealous especially when u watch those taiwan dramas and see how easily 2 idiots fall in love and get married. it just makes you feel like meeting someone is really that easy, no matter how many 'obstacles' they put into the movies.

which always make me reflect upon my life, what the hell have i been doing?

well anyway, last night i looked upon everyone in my life, and started drawing my life circles.

classified them into stages on how well they know me

Stage 0 : people who i say hi and bye, and pretty much thats it.

Stage 1 : You'll realise that i'm a really quiet guy, with probably a shy/serious look. and i dont talk much.

Stage 2 : I go completely cukoo and retarded. I laugh i joke i make fun of you. Most people are in this category.

Stage 3 : A slightly deeper side of me, and you'll realise that i'm emo most of the time.

Stage 4 : You'll realise that all the above stages are a normal me, but not necessarily the real me.

Which stage do you think you're in? :D

There's probably only about 8 people that can be categorised in stage 4. parents included.

心情

2010-02-14T10:49:00.002+08:00

说真的，现在真的很怕被踢出大学。

我深深的感触到“尽人事，听天命”的道理。

念念经，心里还真得比较好过。

新年了，来这里也差不多六个月了。

刚才出去吃了晚餐，跟朋友有说有笑的，时间过得比较快。也免得想家。

今天也是情人节，到处都是一对一对的。心酸。

Edward 说，缘分，有时候也要争取的。

可能吧。或者，我真的不是什么好人吧。怎样都不起眼。

大家的大家，

新年快乐。情人节快乐。

笑着过着每一天吧。

真笑，假笑，笑着，心里总是舒服一点。

2010-01-31T09:55:00.001+08:00

現在是淩晨1點50分

後天又考試

大後天要交project

沒人能幫我

真的要崩潰了

偏偏在這個時候，

連個講話的對象都沒有

我真的很失敗

UK Standards

2010-01-19T09:41:00.003+08:00

My essay

lecturer's comments was

content : a number of thoughtful points - good.

organisation : the arguement structure could be tighter ~ you wander around a bit.

spelling, grammer & refs : mostly quite well writer. refs should be included in the end.

and guess what? my score is 66. not even a first.

=.=

she took marks off for writing

Machines doesnt

instead of

Machines dont

lovely.

but at least i'm considered an ok writer ha ha. heck with the marks. =.=

Gosh

2010-01-13T22:37:00.002+08:00

Heck, after laughing at my cousins, siblings, friends, i'm going to be 20 this year.

Last night i couldnt go to sleep, so i began looking back at what sort of nonsense i did last time, and i found, nothing. seriously, it seems like i've wasted my entire life. i have not been someone, never been. spent high school being a nobody, college was pretty much the same.

and truth is, i was scared, and of course, i was lazy. whenever an opportunity comes by for me to be somebody, i chicken out, starting with being scared, then being lazy to re-grab the opportunity.

to heck with this.

white teenagers are often looked upon by us malaysians as being really 'grown up' and all, but it's not true. in fact, they're even more childish than us, but we view them as mature adults for 1 sole reason, they make their own decisions. seriously. look back in ur life. whenever some shit happens to you, tell me the 1st thing that comes to your mind is not ur parents. when u have a car accident, lost a book, this and that. i'll be honest with myself, i couldnt have decided most of the decisions if not for my parents. british people however, decide on their own, work for it, and if it's a mistake, they own up.

grow up.

my dad previously sent me a video, from a famous lecturer who is dying, giving his last lecture. that dude said :

"an apology has three parts.

1. i'm sorry

2. it's my fault.

3. what can i do to make it right?

most people forget the third part, or they just dont care"

how true is this? i admit, it's so freaking difficult to even say i'm sorry when i really do make a mistake, and it's mostly due to my ego.

i suppose being laid back and not grabbing opportunities is what made me not being able to get what i want as well, from a simple candy to studies to girls.

to hell with that.

change is coming

阿嬤的話

2010-01-08T05:59:00.002+08:00

在細漢的時陣阮阿嬤對我尚好　甲尚好的東西攏會留乎我

伊嘛定定帶我去幼稚園看人在七桃　看人在辦公伙兒　看人在覓相找

伊定定跟阮說　叫阮著要好好仔讀冊　嘸通大漢像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狽ㄛ

在彼個時陣　阮攏聽攏嘸　阿嬤　妳到底是在講什麼

大漢了後　才知影阿嬤的話　我會甲永遠永遠放塊心肝底

＊想到一步一步的過去　定定攏會乎人真難忘

　時間一分一秒塊過去　在阮的心內定定攏會想到伊

＃阿嬤妳今嘛在叨位　阮在叫妳妳甘有聽到

　阮的認真甲阮的成功妳甘有看到　阮在叫妳妳知影沒

　阿嬤妳今嘛過的好麼　甘有人塊甲妳照顧

　希望後世人阮擱會凍來乎妳疼　作妳永遠的孫仔　擱叫妳一聲阿嬤

song of my day :D

it's in hokkien, sorry for those who cant read hokkien :D:D

and to yc, babi la u. got post liao very proud arrr? XD

stuck in snow, freak freak freaking hungry. 2 days eat 2 meals only lol. and those 2 meals also is shin ryamen lol. damn sad =.=

update (?)

2009-12-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

i'm wondering.

where is this blog owner ??

it had been a long time since his last post!

even my new blog have around 10 posts already! xD

It's now winter ryte?

should post some snow's scene lar!

since malaysia dont have =[

and....where's the photos of UK?

haiyor. everyday study study and study mea? haha

lifeless weih. =P

wish every of his blog reader:

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

By,

- ♪ Chenz. -

The Shawshank Redemption

2009-12-07T22:39:00.003+08:00

Awesome movie. Worth watching. Go find the DVD and watch it :D

Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him.

Red: These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
Heywood: Shit. I could never get like that.
Prisoner: Oh yeah? Say that when you been here as long as Brooks has.
Red: Goddamn right. They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyway.

Watch it :D

Feelings

2009-11-30T08:43:00.003+08:00

For some reason i find it inappropriate to blog about feelings lately, thinking that it'll just turn a girl majorly off if they see some guy who likes them blog about his feelings. But since i'm waiting for my phone battery to finish charging before going to sleep, and i'm positive she's not going to read this, yeah why not.

well, to cut long story short, i've fallen into a small dillema previously, and had a lil taste of what's it meant to be 'loyal' i suppose? well, maybe to u girls and guys out there i'm meant to be. i dont know.

as i previously mentioned, i liked a girl i met on some occasion. as some of you might know her, no names mentioned her, yet, at least. well, considering i met her only once, ( yeah quick i know ). nice thing to say, i didn run out of topic after the 1st 2 days. so, surprisingly, it doesnt fall out like it usually does. but after a certain period, maybe she was emo, so she talked less, or maybe i was emo and i had nothing to say, i dont know. bottom line, awkward silence is occuring more and more. but for some reason, i actually had dreams having kids with her. weird i know. just on the side note, i'm tired of 'dating around'. not that i had alot of experience with it, i just dont want to do it.

call it an coincidence, hopped along a girl i took fancy about.. 4 years ago? yeah roughly about that. prolly the hottest girl in that society or i dont know. well, coincidence never happen just once, they happen in a streak and thats what make them coincidence. she started talking to me, then topic jumped to her and my relationship 'life'. she became emo, topic ended when she said she gotta go. and poof. she said, "if you come back without a gf, u can call me". ahh i see. well i sort of led on to that tbh, partly my fault, but oh wells, that phrase came out.

then the prolly what is considered the 'flowery' part of me started like WOW. omg. hot girl actually giving me chance? sounds despo, but yeah. things werent going very well with the girl i liked, so i considered.

as time went on, i then realised how much i missed the girl i liked. even though i was considering the other girl, my heart(?) never left her. so i stopped thinking about the other girl, well, since i've been friends with her for years, 1 line wont change anything. friends last dont they? friendship dont get spoilt by 1 line.

one day, i was called xiao yan, ( or she called me. i'm not sure ). she was doing work, i was playing minesweeper. then i realised how quiet we both were until we started argueing who was right in minesweeper ( i was sharing screen on skype ). point being, silence isnt such a bad thing actually. when u have nothing to say, just keep quiet. but iif u've nothing to say, but u keep trying to push topic, thats what make the awkward silences occur? i guess, considered i can skype call jonathan chow ( friend of mine from HK ) while he's playing World of Warcraft while i'm playing dota. each of us talking about our own game. many silences, but it wasnt awkward.

so, i'm going to see how long i can like her. it wont be as 'difficult' as it sounds since, i know literally no more than 2 brit girls. but still, i'll see.

and oh btw, homesickness is settling in.

song of the day,

Home, Michael Buble

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michaelbuble/home.html

"Home"

Another summer day

Has come and gone away

In Paris and Rome

But I wanna go home

Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

I just wanna go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Each one a line or two

“I’m fine baby, how are you?”

Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough

My words were cold and flat

And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane

Another sunny place

I’m lucky, I know

But I wanna go home

Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home

I’m just too far from where you are

I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life

It’s like I just stepped outside

When everything was going right

And I know just why you could not

Come along with me

'Cause this was not your dream

But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come

And gone away

In even Paris and Rome

And I wanna go home

Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home

I’ve had my run

Baby, I’m done

I gotta go home

Let me go home

It will all be all right

I’ll be home tonight

I’m coming back home

Emotions

2009-11-22T18:15:00.002+08:00

Fairness. I'm pretty sure i've somewhere in my blog before, that something will only be 'fair' if and only if you're at the side with advantage. Then everything will seem fair to u.

I dont even know why i'm writing this. Some days before, I was talking with a girl from China. Just out of curiosity i asked her why she didn't have a boyfriend. I dont know what I feel now, but maybe i'm lucky to be born in Malaysia afterall. Her parents are very strict with her, never allowed her to date. This scenario is pretty normal as well in malaysia isnt it? Only difference is, the teachers in school or out of school will report to parents whenever they see people dating o.O As for my friend's case, she wouldnt even dare to talk with a guy when her parents are around. Weird thing is, her brother has 3 girlfriends ( i'm not sure she meant 3 together, or total 3 o.O )

I asked her why? She replied, 重男轻女。It's the olden days chinese culture of putting guys before girls. But seriously. Still that?

But what made me ponder upon the question is not really this. One could argue that a girl should be more 'careful' and things like that which i dont really agree, but still, i coudlnt say it's not a valid arguement. What actually made me feel deeply for her is that her brother actually tried to kill her.

According to her, there's once when she was beside the river, fishing with her brother. The river is full of moss, dirt, or whatever, Either way, you couldnt see anything more than 5 cm deeper, and the river was pretty deep. Remember the way we used to play that push-you-but-pull-u-back trick? Even if u do this trick beside that kind of river, it's freaking dangerous. But what her brother actually did was push her INTO the river. She can't really remember what happened in the river,but she knew that she somehow managed to get 1 of her hands above the surface of the water.

I'm not sure what happened next, but she got saved, maybe by herself catching something, maybe by someone else. But definately not her brother. When she got home, she actually got scolded for being late, and her brother totally got off. When she told her mum of what happened, her mum just said,

"You didn die, so what? Besides, your brother didn do it intentionally."

What the hell?

Hmmm

2009-11-15T21:25:00.004+08:00

Time to go emo again.. :D

It seems like i havent been blogging much ever since i came to uk. just lost the feel i guess?

thus here i am, writing, trying to find back my emo'ness.

This is something about supporting the emo's by writing a love word on ur hand lol. Info sponsered by fee :D

Lol honestly i dont know what to write. Nothing much has happened. Or maybe i'm just not like last time, willing to share all emotions on blog anymore. Hmmm

oh wells. i'll stop here. :S

nothing to write

Assignments

2009-11-05T01:28:00.002+08:00

Write a program that lists the characters 33-64.

Sounds easy?

that program is only 3 lines.

Loooks easy too.

Took me half an hour to write it. Or rather, to figure out the logic in it.

Hmmmm

To zanarkland

2009-11-03T18:13:00.004+08:00

Here's the music sheet for Final fantasy x theme song, to zanarkland.

And what i wrote in my fb status is kinda true, i'm kinda liking someone now lol. Hope it works out o.O

Favours

2009-10-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

It seems like there's a number of people who wanna kill me when i go back to malaysia, for not telling them that i left lol.

IT'S NOT LIKE U GUYS find me when i'm in malaysia anyway o.O

scream out here to compile a list of people that i'm supposed to meet when i go back o.O

i know Jing Ling is 1st to kill me

2nd is joycelyn.

go on...

those that i definately will meet dont kepoh here. KW XY. and miss esther u better wear those shirt when i get back MUAHAHAHAHAA.

Uk

2009-10-13T07:25:00.003+08:00

Now that i'm in UK, what do i want?

It's quite a big change for me, and at the same time, it's pretty much the same.

When i'm in primary, for all 6 years, teachers always put me around 8 girls. to prevent me from talking.

In yamaha music class, all the guys dropped out except 1, me

i went to MBS, but never had a proper gang of friends until form 5. still, i'm not close to anyone from high school. my friends were xiao yan and kai wei, whom are girls.

in xueji, i dont really fit into guy gangs, coz they're just too weird. thus, girls again.

in college, i had my 1st actual guy friend, the emo edward. but the rest of my closer friends are girls. Dota gang excluded. ok la Jun yow also. since i know he will read this o.O

but now, in uni,

my course is 90% guys

my corridors is all guys

my tutor group is all guys.

my entire life is is based around guys.

heck, i really have a difficult time fitting in. they dont exclude me, but i just cant go crazy as i used to be

do i miss the old days? maybe. i'm not exactly sure myself

till now, i have yet to attend more than 2 social events, or drank more than 5 ml of alcohol. what am i turning into?

i was warned by a friend of mine that i should carry a condom around, just in case.

my 1st thought was, there's not a single girl in my life here, so is the wall going to rape me?

i really want a gender mix in my life. or i'll be losing my mind.

in uk,

take away football, u kill the boys

take away lollipop, u kill the girls

take away beer, u kill both

Cheers

p.s.

this is what friends are meant to be like

Me : Hello

: How's china

Eds: Hey

: her friend says that i have no chance

omg this is so touching

2009-09-20T23:12:00.001+08:00

24歲女孩與30歲男人的經典對白
晚餐。桌兩邊，坐了男人和女人。

　　“我喜歡你。”女人一邊擺弄著手裡的酒杯，一邊淡淡地說著。

　　“我有老婆。”男人摸著自己手上的戒指。

　　“我不在乎，我只想知道，你的感覺。你，喜歡我嗎？”

　　男人抬起頭，打量著對面的女人。

　　24歲，年輕，有朝氣，相當不錯的年紀。

　　白皙的皮膚，充滿活力的身體，一雙明亮的，會說話的眼睛。

　　真是不錯的女孩啊，可惜。

　　“如果你也喜歡我，我不介意作你的情人。”女人終於等不下去，追加了一句。

　　“我愛我妻子。”男人堅定地回答。

　　“你愛她？愛她什麼？現在的她，應該已經年老色衰，見不得人了吧。否則，公司的晚宴，怎麼從來不見你帶她來……”

　　女人還想繼續，可接觸到男人冷冷的目光後，打消了念頭。

　　靜……

　　“你喜歡我什麼？”男人開口了。

　　“成熟，穩重，動作舉止很有男人味，懂得關心人，很多很多。反正，和我之前見過的人不同，你很特別。”

　　“你知道三年前的我什麼樣子？”男人點了顆煙。

　　“不知道。我不在乎，即使你坐過牢。”

　　“三年前，我就是你現在眼裡的那些普通男人。”男人沒理會女人，繼續說。

　　“普通大學畢業，工作不順心，整天喝酒，發脾氣。對女孩子愛理不理，還因為去夜總會找小姐，被pol.ice抓過。”

　　“那怎麼……”女人有了興趣，想知道是什麼讓男人轉變的。

　　“因為她？”

　　“嗯。”

　　“她那個人，好像總能看到事情的內在。教我很多東西，讓我別太計較得失，別太在乎眼前的事，盡量待人和善。那時的我在她面前，就像少不更事的孩子。那時真的很奇怪，倔脾氣的我，偏偏最聽她的話。按照她說的，接受現實，我知道自己沒用，就努力工作。那年年底，工作上稍微有了起色，我們結婚了。”

　　男人彈了彈煙灰，繼續說著。

　　“那時，真是苦日子。兩個人，一張床，家裡的家具也少得可憐。知道嗎？結婚一年後，我才給她買了第一枚鑽戒，存了大半年的錢呢。當然，是背著她存的。若她知道了，是肯定不讓的。”

　　“那陣子，因為煙酒弄得自己身體不好。大冬天的，她每天晚上睡前還要給我熬湯喝。那味道，也只有她做得出。”

　　男人沉醉於回憶裡，忘記了時間，只是不停地講述著往事。

　　而女人，也絲毫沒有打斷的意思，靜靜地聽著。

　　等男人注意到時間，已經晚上10點了。

　　“啊，對不起，沒注意時間，已經這麼晚了。”男人抱歉地笑了笑。

　　“現在，你可以理解嘛？我不可能，也不會，做對不起她的事。”

　　“啊，知道了。輸給這樣子的人，心服口服了！”女人無奈地搖了搖頭。“不過我到了她的年紀，會更棒的。”

　　“嗯。那就可以找到更好的男人。不是嗎？”

　　“很晚了，家裡的湯要冷了，我送你回去。”男人站起身，想送女人。

　　“不了，我自己回去可以了。”女人擺了擺手。“回去吧，別讓她等急了。”

　　男人會心地笑了笑，轉身要走。

　　“她漂亮嘛？”

　　“……嗯，很美。”

　　男人的身影消失在夜色中，留下女人，對著蠟燭，發呆。

　　男人回到家，推開門，徑直走進臥室，打開了台燈。

　　沿著床邊，他坐了下來。

　　“老婆，已經第四個了。干嘛讓我變得這麼好，好多人喜歡我呀。搞不好，我會變心呀。干嗎把我變得這麼好，自己卻先走了？我，我一個人，好孤單呀……”

　　男人哽咽地說著，終於泣不成聲。

　　眼淚，一滴滴從男人的臉頰流下，打在手心裡的相框上。昏暗的燈光中，舊照片裡彌漫著的是已逝女子淡淡的溫柔。
您要是被感動了，就回個貼，這樣將保佑您幸福：您要是不感動，也回個貼，這樣將祈禱您平安

真是不容易的情懷

2009-09-06T14:30:00.000+08:00

一名署名約翰衛斯理的人寫了這樣一個故事。

一對夫婦在婚後十一年生了一個男孩，

夫妻恩愛，男孩自然是二人的寶。

男孩兩歲的某一天，

丈夫在出門上班之際，

看到桌上有一藥瓶打開了，

不過因為趕時間，

他只揚聲妻子把藥瓶收好，

然後就關上門上班去。

妻子在廚房忙得團團轉，

就忘了丈夫的叮囑。

男孩拿藥瓶，

覺得好奇、又被藥水的顏色所吸引，

於是一飲而盡。

藥水成份厲害，

即使成人服用也只能用少量。

男孩OD（Overdose服藥過量），

被送到醫院後，返魂乏術。

妻子被事實嚇呆了，不知如何面對丈夫。

緊張的父親趕到醫院，

得知噩耗非常傷心，看兒子的屍體，

望了妻子一眼，然後說了四個字。

作者叫讀者猜，

這丈夫說了四個甚麼字？

答案是：

「I love you, darling!」

這反應是 Proactive 的

（即反過來控制局面，而不被局面控制）。

作者亦盛讚這丈夫是人類關係的天才，

因為兒子的死已成事實，

再吵再罵也不會改變事實，

只惹來更多的傷心，

而且不只自己失去兒子，

妻子也失去兒子。

這故事，

彰顯人類選擇的自我層次 ，

同一件不幸事你可以怨天尤人，

痛罵社會，甚至自責無窮，

但事情卻不因這些而改變，

這一切只改變了你和日後的生活，

負著疤痕的活下去。

反之，

放下怨恨和懼怕，

放下過去，勇敢的活下去，

事情的境況原來並不如想像中壞，

這就是作者所說的

Proactive Behavior，

也就是我們所說的由人轉境，

而不是被外界事物牽著走。

很簡短的故事，

但是，有多少人能做到呢？

當我看到那句

' I love you, darling! '

的時候，

心中感概萬千......

多麼簡單的一句話，

但要有多久的修練，

多大的包容，多深的人生智慧，

才能在那種時刻

說出如此令人動容的一句話。

每個人都有不想讓人所知的不幸事，

自己選擇了什麼方式去面對，

又怎麼去面對未來，以及週邊的人事物...

與你分享

也祝福順心喜樂！

遇到你真的愛的人時
努力爭取和他相伴一生的機會!
因為當他離去時.一切都來不及了....

遇到可相信的朋友時
要好好和他相處下去
因為在人的一生中.可遇到知己真的不易

遇到人生中的貴人時
要記得好好感激
因為他是你人生的轉折點

遇到曾經愛過的人時
記得微笑向他感激
因為他是讓你更懂愛的人

遇到曾經恨過的人時
要微笑向他打招呼
因為他讓你更加堅強

遇到曾經背叛你的人時
要跟他好好聊一聊
因為若不是他今天你不會懂這世界

遇到曾經偷偷喜歡的人時
要祝他幸福唷!
因為你喜歡他時.不是希望他幸福快樂嗎？

遇到匆匆離開你人生的人時
要謝謝他走過你的人生
因為他是你精采回憶的一部分

遇到曾經和你有誤會的人時
要趁現在澄清誤會
因為你可能只有這一次機會解釋清楚

10.

遇到現在的伴侶
要百分百感謝他愛你
因為你們現在都得到幸福和真愛

2009-09-05T00:18:00.000+08:00

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with
$500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an
Annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My
Requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income
Of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to

Ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've
Dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my
Upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area
On the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not
Enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and
Addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few
Girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able
To marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
Girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms Pretty

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------

Amazing reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
Out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
Analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is
More than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone
Believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a
Business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very
Simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of
'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it,
Fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will
Fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is,
My income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier
Year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an
Appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just
Normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only
Asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
With you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will
Sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes
With the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in
Order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value
Will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a
Fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that
You forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you
Could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do
Contact me...

Signed,
CEO
J.P. Morgan :)

11 more days

2009-09-01T23:17:00.003+08:00

11 more days till i leave Malaysia

and somehow, i cannot get in touch with the person i care the most ouside my family.

She's having exams, but i honestly dont know whether it's up till the extent that she cant even reply 1 sms..

well i do know that i care alot about her. but do i like her? i cant answer this question.

i do think about her alot. like, if i get something interesting, i have an immediate rush to share with her, only to think that she's not around me.

there's tonnes more feelings about her.

11 more days to go.

my bags are still empty. i have not started packing, i mean, i have, but not exactly putting them into my bags yet.

11 more days to go, i still dont feel the rush of eating all the foods that i might miss

11 more days to go, i still have not met up with friends. only family.

it's 11.30 pm, the 11th day count has another 30 minutes, before it drops..

to 10.

and still counting..

Thoughts

2009-08-24T00:17:00.002+08:00

Dont you wonder at times, what do you really want?

I was walking in the garden, with a camera at hand. Snapping photos randomly, trying out the digital macro function. Thats when i imagined how pretty it would be, if i took a photo at macro of a butterfly, taking off from a flower bug. The ideal image in my thoughts sparked me into action. Getting my stuff's ready, i sat and waited for a butterfly to come.

It was a sunny day, and the heat of the sun was beating hard down on me. Minutes past as sweat trickled down my neck. I started to feel impatient. Hell. Where are all the bloody butterflies when i want them?

Sheesh. It's getting abit too hot, and thus, i stood up for a moment, to stretch. Yawn~

Mouth wide open, i saw the butterfly i was waiting all day for. Oh yeah~ I Focused my camera on the flower bud, and half pressed the shutter button, waiting for the butterfly to land.

*Flutter flutter*

Bitch butterfly refuses to land. But truth to be told, it doesnt even know that i'm actually waiting for it to land, does it?

After a while, my eyes start to feel sore, so I stopped my focus, and rubbed my eye for a bit, chilling :S

Thats when it landed. And whats worse, i did not even notice it landing. Yay me.

When i finished rubbing my eyes, the butterfly took off, which means i was just in time ( late ) to snap the photo i wanted to. Cursing and swearing, i refocused and then waited again. I was determined to get that photo.

The butterfly danced around the tree, then once again it landed on the flower. I quickly snapped a few shots, of the butterfly on the flower. The pictures were awesome. Then i awaited the butterfly to take off, to take my ideal picture.

That was when Another butterfly fluttered into the flower next to the one i'm focusing on. The other butterfly was much prettier, with more colours and the colour tones were perfect. I knew that would make the most perfect picture of butterflies flying.

I switched my camera to focus on the 2nd buttrfly, and while doing so, both butterflies took off, thus i missed my shot once again. And i got really pisssed off this time, as I realised how much time i've wasted for nothing. Angry, i deleted all the pictures i took, and went into my house.

After calming down, i wanted to look at the pictures of the 1st butterflies, only to realise that i've deleted it, and it will not be recovered.

Thankful

2009-08-07T14:56:00.003+08:00

Moderate typhoon hitting taiwan. Signboards flying everywhere, motorcycles falling off while travelling, umbrella's getting spoilt...

everything would have been really funny if i am watching it from malaysia. It's really a joke the way 5 motorcycles fall on their sides like bowling pins ( literally ) on the exact same spot, and this is only a moderate typhoon.

i almost died today.

My cousins and I were waiting for a chance for the rain to slow, to rush out and get some food. Yea, that moment came, and we were walking quickly to the food stalls, chatting and laughing about typhoon..

until the High Voltage electricity wires exploded on top of our heads. Sparks were everywhere, thankfully we ran away. There's also some people who were so shocked that they just looked and stared at the fire.

Going to temple when we get the chance, and for once, be really thankful that we are still alive.

Sorry i didn get pictures of that incident, was busy running :S

Ciaoz

A long Break

2009-07-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

I've taken a very very long break from my blog, and i am back now =)

1st i changed the interface. No longer the black emo picture with emo heading. Now I feel more lonely, and prolly a lil artistic? ( in a musical sense at least )

Originally, my July is supposed to be a busy month, i ended up doing almost nothing. Bahh. Going into august now. Going to Taiwan, and Pulau Tioman. Cousins all the way =) Awesomeeee.

Lily's party this sat. I hav no idea what party it is, who's going, or whatever. Okay. i do know who's going.. she said Mary Anne and turtle. Hmmm whoever turtle is :S and i think she mentioned huiyi somewhere.

Leaving for Taiwan coming Sunday. Byeee~~

And to my best friend, u know who u are, really sorry that i sorta avoided you lately. I had like 5 nights of nightmare regarding you which is exactly the reason why i wasnt talking to you. Havent actually gotten over the nightmare yet =.=

I heard that they sell Cotton candies in Pads form in taiwan, and chocolate condoms. Woot~ anyone fancy some? xD

Looking forward to UK. Mentally getting ready.

And to all my digi friends, my digi number was hijacked by my sister. Thus, sorry i didn message u guys lately. Yes you, huiyee and yan jing :S

Maxis number is 017-8705324 thats if u still dont have it =(

Okay enough spamming for the moment. Will post stuff up =)

If only i could tell you

2009-06-24T17:28:00.005+08:00

It was another usual day, where a gang of friends went for an outing. It was planned beforehand. He knew the girl would go, but not with him. He hoped that she would ask him to bring her along, yet she did not. He was sad, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Imagine the surprise he got when the girl actually asked him to bring her along, the warmth of joy that filled up his empty heart. In other words, he was a happy boy. Well, at least in that moment of time.

Finally the great day came, and the gang of friends went out to watch a movie. Tickets were bought, but there wasnt exactly a plan as to who is going to sit with who. He hoped, or tried to formulate a plan on how to end up sitting beside her, and concluded that if he walked with her into the cinema, they Might end up sitting together.

Maybe it's just fate, they ended up sitting on opposite ends. Somehow. The only thing he could do was to look at her from far, and to miss her, deeply.

After the movie, the gang of friends went for some food, and they walked. ( Like duhh. lol ) Once again, he tried to think of a way, to not sit too far away from her. But what could he do? While walking, some friends left, and she seemed to be walking alone. His friend nudged him, and whispered 'go on, dont let her walk alone'. He gave his friend a weird look, but thats because he wasn't honest. He wanted to even just walk with her.

Maybe it's just fate, the gang of friends splitted up, leaving the boy and the girl, sitting alone at the table, waiting. He was happy.

He looked at her, deep in her eyes...
He was hoping for an answer, maybe he could find them in her eyes. But what could he see? Her deep love for him? No. He could see that they're not empty, but he has no idea what they're filled with. Because he, dont know her. Or rather, he just dont know enough to know what to see in her. Her deepest and darkest secrets, that he, will not know. But still, he was contended that he could be alone with her for a while, which he had wished for quite some time.

It was time to leave.

Maybe it's just fate, but the girl is following her friend home, not him.

After the farewells, he turned and left. As he walked away, he was sad. After another few steps, he couldn't take it anymore, and turned behind and take one last look at the girl, before he left...

Only to see that the girl was already behind him.

He looked into her pretty eyes, as he felt a wave of love rushing out of him, trying to reach the girl. She took his hand, and said :

' Fetch me back, alright? '

' Of course, ' was all he replied. There wasn't a need to say anything more, as he was sure that she knows how he feels. And off they went...

Maybe it was fate, but the guy lives in a real world, and fantasy never comes true.

As he turned behind him, he stared into a sea of people, and the girl was no where to be seen. He could only walk away, and miss the girl, who would live inside him, but never with him..

If only I could tell you that I love you..
But there's no happy endings.

How's the story?

A few pointers i found out lately

2009-06-09T12:07:00.002+08:00

I've learned some stuff about girls lately, interesting stuff that i've never known. Girls, please comment and tell me whether they're true. It's when you're talking to girls, close friends excluded.

1. When talking to girls, dont try too hard to make conversation. It'll only turn the girl off. Instead, just chat randomly.If the girl starts giving u messages like 'lol', 'ok', change the topic, or stop talking. It's better to shut up than to pursue a topic she doesnt want to talk about.

2. Do NOT comment on their pictures, esp when u dont find it nice. When u find it nice, and u find it hard to resist the urge to comment, just let one line fly and thats it. UNLESS that girl herself starts to talk to you about it, shut up. Telling a girl stuff like 'ok that pic is no good at all, what are you doing in it?' e.g. when a girl is trying to act cute and all, u're diggin ur own grave. ESP when she finds it pretty. If u go on ranting about it, i'm pretty sure she wont want to talk to u for quite some time.

3. Sending vibes that u like her too early causes disaster. ( Well, obviously you wouldnt talk to someone you're not familiar with unless u have a urge to right? ) It doesnt turn a girl off, it scares her and once again, she might not talk to you after that. It's always better to be a cool, ( not acting cool ) and hilarious person. It doesnt turn her on, but i think it makes her SLIGHTLY more interested in the convo.

4. Keep the convo short and sweet. Long convo merely bores them. Afterall, u guys dont know each other that long yet right? Coz after a while, they wont know what to talk, and awkward convo leads to no talking. Hmmm.

5. Dont repeat a request too many times, or keep on ranting about it. E.G. say u're asking her to 'dance' with u in an msn convo, if she says no, it's better to say
'awwww.. i'll dance with my teddy baer then *sobs*'
than to ask
'why not? yerrr... dance with me laaaaa'
ranting annoys them.

6. Dont self praise too much. It makes u sound arrogant, and repeated arrogance leads to disgust. Normal is good =)

7. Be nice, but dont be TOO nice. I dont know how to explain this, but i think i'm right by saying that sometimes being evil and mean or even fierce ( okay mayb not fierce ) makes the convo more interesting. A forever nice guy, will just bore them.

I'm not saying that all the above points are true, but thats what I THINK might be true. Please correct me if i'm wrong. Gotta learn =)

woohooo :)

2009-05-27T19:43:00.004+08:00

owhh yay,
mid year exam just ended today.

but still,
need to study during holiday :(

mid year exam.
result for sure very poor!
a lot blank. T.T

so yar,
for the A-level's..
GOOD LUCK WEIH. xD

Happy Holiday

♀ [ × i Đ є ά £ e $ ŝ - Ġ u r L × ] ♂

A Story

2009-05-14T10:05:00.002+08:00

TAXI

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets..

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'... 'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now' We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Pictures

2009-05-10T22:12:00.001+08:00

Facebook updated. go grab for pics.

again. it's exam

2009-05-10T19:00:00.001+08:00

Ooops.

May, my school named it as exam's month.
exam coming ya.
15 May
lets fight for it everyone..!
JIA YOU.

try my best.
god do the rest

A post that does not need a title

2009-05-07T20:31:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of college. Suddenly it seemed like saying goodbye, and i cant. Somehow, despite me always saying how much i hated college. I dont know. Argh.

I will come up with a post soon, stating the valued friends in college, and every moment i cherished with everyone of you, every moment that i will remember for the rest of my lives. Part of it is already in my drafts, still trying to compile on what i remember. I hope you guys will read and appreciate =)

Sendin loves to everyone.

And now, i see the most important reason to go to prom.
It's for you guys.

Random Topic

2009-05-03T18:22:00.003+08:00

MY fm's line :

有人问，电梯里的镜子是什么作用？
有人说，是让电梯里的人检查仪表用的；
有人说，它的用途是放大电椅里的空间感。
其实，镜子的用途是让残障人士进入电梯时，不必费神转身，也可以简单的按电梯按钮。
我们往往有异想天开的看法，但，始终，还是由自己的观点出发。

translation :
Some people ask, whats the usage of the mirrors in an elevator?
Some say, it's to check your own looks for better presentation;
Some say, it's to give the elavator a enlarged feeling.
Actually, the mirror's usage is to allow the disabled to easily access the elevator buttons without having a hard time to arrange themselves in a position to look at the buttons.
We as humans often have ideas where sky is the limit, however, it's always from our own point of view.

I listened to this for many times on the radio, but it've never hit me like how it hit me today. Linking back to our prom. Bet many of u guys already got tired of me ranting over the price for prom. But still, it's true. Actually it's not so much of the price they set, it's the effort they've put in. I daresay they havent actually put in their best for this prom.

The student council is often made up of the richer people, where, money, to them, are not much of the big issue, and their focus is more on the presentation of the event. ( i'll get to the presentation next time maybe =(. For a good presentation of a PROM, please visit http://www.thepromtay.blogspot.com/ i personally prefer a prom like that. and i wouldnt mind to even pay RM 150 for that. I'm not sure of that prom's price though ). Anyway, getting back to topic, the new student council had NOT shown me their effort's in reducing the price. They're comparing it with last year's prom, and i bet the thought
' they last year also pay 130.. this year shud be okay one... '
had came across their minds before. They did not consider people who are unwilling to pay that much money to go to prom, or maybe they did, and did not bother due to their opinion of RM130 being AFFORDABLE. It's not easy to kick that point of view, as stated in my topic sentence above =)

Many a time Edward had tried to approach them and talk to them about the prices, and their rudeness of deleting a comment. Yes, it's their page, but deleting a comment? Are they tring to say that they cant accept criticism on their page? Fine. Here's a LONG LONG critic on their prom. Screw me if u want. Remembering the day when me and Edward went to talk with them, ranting over the price, the person in charge of the booth ( no names used here ) Merely stared at him while he went on ranting, and repeated
' So are you buying the ticket?'
every 10 seconds or so. He might sound funny. Yeah, me and eddie were laughing along with him. but it's PISSING OFF. Dont you think? Is this how you treat your customer? Ignoring comments? Doing what ONLY YOU think is right? Wow. *Claps* Thats some marketing strategy. Love you guys for that =) woot~

Yes, it's kinda obvious that most of us will eventually buy the prom ticket, so there's nothing to be worried about. But that doesnt mean that we MUST go or we WILL go. Anytime if they ticked us all off, i bet anyone who organised another event on the same night, we would go, not to prom, but whatever event that is. Not everyone of course, they'll be suporters for every party, but the numbers will DEFINATELY drop.

And to be honest, i dont see any student council members really trying to sell the tickets. They're only depending on the people they know in our intake, and trying to get their friends to go. Anyone else could just stand beside their booth for 1 hour and they probably wouldnt bother.

Lets assume we are shopping. We go into a shop not knowing much about that shop. Would you prefer the sales person to come up to you with a warm smile, asking you ' may i help you?' in a very polite way? or just being ignored? I definately would want a sales person to come up to me and ask politely. Even if i dont need help. That just shows how good the service is isnt it? Well lets just assume we said 'no, i dont really need help' to the 'may i help you question' I personally think that good service should be the person standing politely beside, and offering help when necessary. That should be the way isnt it? Not to back down even when rejected help. Thats called SERVICE. But if the sales person just came up to you, said may i help you, and left once you said no, i'm pretty sure that we dont stay in that shop for long coz there wont be much to see. If that person stayed and toured you around, we might even try on some of the goods, and when their luck is good, we might buy something. Right?

Parelling this to the marketing strategy them, most of them basically ignored me after i said 'no i wont buy'. No one pushed it, trying to convince me to go, or try to find out why i'm not going. Woot~ cool. I remember myself trying to convince people to go to the a levels fiesta last year. Wasnt easy work, but i still managed to get a few tickets. And when i sold one, i can feel the satisfaction of gettting it sold.

I dont think any of us should go to prom solely for the reason of 'supporting our juniors'. Thats the WORST reason available. Going to prom for juniors? Lol. If i have a girlfriend in a55 then probably that reason is valid la. But just to support? Lol. Sorry. a big fat NO for you.

Think, use ur brains, you WILL get a few more customers. Some people want to go, but just isnt convinced yet. Some people, like me, is just sitting on the fence. Waiting to see the effort before i make the decision.

My humble opinion.

Dont read if u dont want to.

And, who says you cant get a mansion? Lookup thepromtay. And LEARN

Prom

2009-04-23T14:24:00.002+08:00

Prom is the final event of college. And i dont know whether i should go.
Someone, try persuade me to go =.= i dont see the reason to go, at the same time, i dont see the reason not to.
Prom is going to be expensive, and it's going to be late. Sunway is damn far. How am i supposed to come back? 2 am in the morning? Or? And besides, if i'm going to drink, i'm NOT going to drive. Then? Who fetch me? Book room stay overnight? Too much money ar?
haiz

Some bitch

2009-04-16T21:06:00.003+08:00

Today, some FUCKING PIG called me
017-2634513
this idiotic number, called me today like 4-5 times.
first few times i was in the cinema, and now i finally picked up. That fucking bitch say i disturb her. What the fuck? i dont even know u. Accuse me say i have her number, what the fuck? I dont even have that stupid fucking number in my phone. Then that fucking bitch asked her friend to come find me, saying that i'm malay. LOL? DID I GO DO A TRANS-RACIAL? DO I LOOK LIKE A MALAY? DO I ACT LIKE A MALAY? Bloody bitch. I said i'm chinese, and she say, " If u are lying you are sinned" Woot. u idiot bitches and ur idiot english. GO learn ur grammer before u come talk with me. CB. ( no offense to other malaysa, but only to that idiot called me. ) In the end, when the convo was getting nowhere, she say 'Ok la, since u dunwan admit, then i'll see u in heaven'. Yea right la. U dont know me, i dont know u, and u wan know where i stay. U wan know who i am. ANd when i ask who r u, u dunwan tell me who u r, and u dunwan tell me who u r. Lol. Are u out of ur mind? crazy bitches
Anyone know how to make an official report of harrassment? I would love to report.

无题

2009-04-14T20:32:00.001+08:00

开朗的人，
也有烦恼的时候。

人生就是如此，
喜怒哀乐也得过日子。

This fella. Write post title pun takda

2009-04-09T17:52:00.005+08:00

Hmm...
This guy will never update his bloogg~ xD.

Laugh your heart out
Dance in the rain
Cherish the moment
Ignore the pain
Live, Laugh, Love
Forgive & Forget
Life's too short to be
Living with NO Regrets.

"Daddy" holded(HELD LA) my hands today.
and make me think of you.
and yet, i had put you down.
LET'S SMILE!

Nothing much to say =.= thats why i harldy post anymore. Plus dunno why my blog no longer works well for me =.= Oh well. I'll post one line today.

Lim He Hui is getting FAT.

I need to go on diet soon. HAIZ. lolxxxxxx

Edited by Lim He Hui.

BAI BAI

HAHA, like speechless only lar you!
wad lar diet! getting fat also still skinny lar!
owh yea. my past tense. xD.
title. hmm. OKAY!

[ × i Đ є ά £ e $ ŝ - Ġ u r L × ]

the new author.

2009-04-07T21:16:00.004+08:00

Era Globalisasi yang semakin maju ini,
Internet semakin popular di kalangan orang ramai.

blahhh~

yea. i'm weak in ENGLISH.
and not really good in chinese.
so, BM is the most suitable languange for me.
but, i duno how to write blog in BM lea.
so ya stil english.
haha.

this guy - HH,
always complain bout my english language.
so bad huh! should guide me ryte. LOL.

invited by him as an author.
should i introduce myself?
YC here.
spm this year.
feeling stress lately.
and may jump down from 1st floor.

stop here 1st.
( need to go telan buku dy)
tata.

=.=

2009-03-31T16:05:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Samantha Kong

001. Real Name : Lim He Hui
002. Nickname(s) : HH, H squared, Harry,He he, (alot more. cant remember )
003. Age : Going to be 19
004. Zodiac Sign : Gemini
005. Male or Female : Male
006. Kindergarden : Tadika Grace
007. Elementary School: SJK(C) Taman Connaught
008. Middle/High School : SMK(L) Methodist Jalan Hang Jebat
009. College School : HELP University College
010. Hair colour : Original
011. Long or Short : Short
012. Loud or Quiet : Quite loud? haha
013. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans
014. Phone or Camera : Phone
015. Health Freak : At times
016. Drink or Smoke : Drink. Never Smoke.
017. Do you have a crush on someone : Guess so
018. Eat or Drink : Eat
019. Piercings : No
020. Tattoos : Never
021. Social or Anti-Social: Social
022. First Piercing : Stupid. Didn I just say I dont have piercings
023. First Relationship : 16 Years old
024. First Best Friend : Har Ran
025. First Award : Kindergarden First year. Best in class apparently.
026. First Kiss : Dunno
027. First Pet: No pet
028. First Big Vacation : Cant remember. was quite young
029. First Love at first sight: =.=
030. First Big Birthday : 14. Originally a primary gathering, somehow turned Big

Currently049. Eating : No
050. Drink : Water?
051. Excitement Level : Tired
052. I'm about to : Shut off this stupid tag
053. Listening to : The sounds of my keyboard
054. Plan for today : Nothing
055. Waiting for : A girl
056. Energy Level : 8( i just ate)
057. Thinking of someone: Maybe
058. Want kids? : Yep. The ideal case is a twin girl & boy, and one younger girl
059. Want to get married?: Yup--but on the right time.
060. Careers in mind? : Lazing at home and get windfall everyday

Which is better in the boy/girl you like068. Lips or Eyes? : Eyes
069. Romantic or Funny? : Both
070. Shorter or Taller? : Shorter ( taller than me is just scary. Sandeep Hmph. )
071. Protective or Caring? : Caring
072. Romantic or Spontaneous? : Spontaneous
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: Girls shud have both
074. Sensitive or Loud? : A good measure of both
075. Hook-up or Relationship? : The right ones at the right time. (eventually Marriage. so neither )
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? : Depends on the situation

Have you ever080. Lost glasses or contacts : Never. Broke got la
081. Ran away from home : Never
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence: In games
083. Killed somebody : Too many to count in games
084. Broken someone's heart : Guess i had
085. Been arrested : Nope
087. Cried when someone died : Yes. A very cute story though. Will blog about it next time.

Do you believe in089. Yourself : Yes.
090. Miracles : Miracles = Magic = Things unexplained. So yeah
091. Love at first sight: Yes. Sometimes.
092. Heaven : No
093. Santa Claus : No
094. Tooth Fairy : No
095. Kiss in the first date: Maybe

Truthfully097. Is there someone you would want to be with right now? : Maybe.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now? : It's always complicated
099. Do you believe in God? : No
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people:

Whoever who reads my blog =.=

Class Joke

2009-03-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

This is what happened in our statistics class yesterday.

Ms Au : Why is the world 2009 today?

Class : Silence ~~ ( omg i needle fell on the floor )

Ms Au : It's because long long ago someone started the stopwatch and it've been ticking since, and today's time is based on the time he/she started the stopwatch.

Alex : Which monkey did it huh?

Syn Giap : Jesus Christ.

Woot~

戀人未滿

2009-03-24T18:08:00.004+08:00

為什麼只和你能聊一整夜為什麼才道別才又想見面
在朋友裡面就屬你最特別總讓我覺得很親很貼

為什麼你在意誰陪我逛街為什麼你擔心誰對我放電
你說你對我比別人多一些卻又不說是多哪一些

友達以上　戀人未滿　甜蜜心煩　愉悅混亂　
我們以後　會變怎樣　我迫不及待想知道答案

再靠近一點點　就讓你牽手　再勇敢一點點　我就跟你走
你還等什麼　時間已經不多　再下去　只好只做朋友

再向前一點點　我就會點頭　再衝動一點點　我就不閃躲
不過三個字　別猶豫這麼久　只要你說出口　你就能擁有我

為什麼你寂寞只想要我陪　為什麼我難過只肯讓你安慰
我們心理面明明都有感覺　為什麼不敢面對

我不相信　都動了感情卻到不了　愛情
那麼貼心卻進不了　心底
你能不能快一點決定　對我說我愛你

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icZFsFJKt7Q

this song just touched me a few days ago..

been practicing 'kiss the rain' by yiruma. i'll probably post a record of me playing once i'm done =)

A lifetime experience

2009-03-20T20:40:00.002+08:00

Today's original plan was to go waterfall with Jie Lee, Yi Lin, Claire, Paul and Xiao yan. Thanks to Jie Lee and her Teehee friend, i postponed the trip to next week. Therefore, there's nothing to do today.
Right after physics, me, alex, edward, adrian, ben went to play left 4 dead. Jeng han came and played with us. OoO. then dota'ed. Lost kao kao lolx. then went home.
After that, i'm supposed to meet Ken Yeo, Yi chin, and gang for badminton. Venue, Jalan Pahang, Utar, nearby there. and so we go.
I drove alone along MRR2, while god knows who ken is. he told me a rough direction of where jalan pahang is, so yeah. Many a time i tried asking him where is the place, he said U COME UTAR FIRST. okay.. Whats the name of the place? he gave me the name of the court, and when i asked him what is the name of the area, he just gave me the rough directions again ==
while travelling, i past some certain landmarks and called ken. i saw some places where i THINK is nearby already, ken asked me to go striaght =.= so yeah. All the way from cheras, to zoo negara, to sentul, to WOW Batu caves. smart. overshot, tried to u turn, ended up on a road going to ipoh, thank god i know that place and managed to turn back on to MRR2, this time the opposite direction. When i'm nearing the place, ken called me, and gave me directions. i was focusing on his directions, signboards, and other cars that i didn notice which road i'm on. there's 4 lanes in total. 1st one splitted out, going somewhere.. god knows where. i was on the second inner lane, thinking that it shud be the slowest lane. TaDaa. i ended up on the road to genting. Better still, mother fucking RM5 toll right in front of me.
What happened before wasnt important, it's just an explanation to tell you readers why i pretty much screwed up on a road with no return. And why i'm posting this post today. Right before the toll, there was a long row of big cans splitting the road, spliiting it to and fro. There's a part where there's no cans, allowing U turns. I dont know why, i did not take that u turn, and instead, i went for the toll. Maybe i was afraid to admit that i made a mistake.
After paying Rm5 for the lame shit toll, there's ANOTHER PLace allowing u turn, and yet again, i did not take it. Why? Mayb because i was far left, and dangerous to cut all the way to the right to make that u turn? or mayb i am overconfident, thinking that there will be a proper u turn later down the road. Great. Whats even better, i have RM0.72 left for phone credit. I went on uphill, towards genting. 5, 10, 15 km there wasnt a single place allowing u turn. Then i started thinking, why me, as a human, refused to correct my wrong the instant i realised that i made a mistake? was i too proud of myself that i Must be Proven wrong before i will amend it? Maybe. Price to pay for this little incident is just petrol fuels. but these things happens daily in our daily lifes, and most of us usually take the wrong path, convincing urself that you're right. Whats the point of dragging on the Known mistake, wasting time convincing urself that you are not wrong? Opportunity's to turn back doesnt show up often, but yet, i chose to go on with the mistake, than to turn back immediately.
Lesson, when there's a hint of a mistake, do not waste time rethinking your problem. Solve it first.
eg, grab the first opportunity to make a u turn once i passed the toll. times moves on and the car moves on, once the opportunity passed, there's no turning back. and you'd never know what lies ahead.

I had to go down a further 20++ kilometres, all the way into pahang, when the next u turn shows up. But i was on phone with my dad, discussing how to turn back. and thus wasting the chance to turn back.
Lesson, when you make a mistake, focus on solving it. do not let distractions waste ur opportunities to amend your mistake.

I was still on phone when the third u turn presents itself 500 metres ahead of the 2nd u turn. i put down my phone Immediately, and made that u turn.
Lesson, Everyone makes mistakes. only a fool repeats it.

When one make a mistake, it's good to get frustrated and search for amendments frantically. but do it Logically and keep a cool head. And most importantly, do not give up. A constant reminder of the danger you're in will keep urself calm.

Translated into my situation,
When i passed the toll, i swore alot damn loudly, To release the stress in me. But i kept a cool head, 1st to check how much petrol i have left, and whether my engine is overheating. I keep reminding myself that genting highway has the HIGHEST fatal accidents, and kept my full alert on. after i made that u turn, there's a burnt smell. 1st, i reacted logically and considred what might have caused it, thinking that it was my brake, i immediately slowed down and downshifted gears. When a lorry was moving fast onto me from behind, i reacetd quickly moving on into a different lane.

I'm not saying that i'm good or whatever, but my point of this post is to tell u what i've learnt from my own actions. I merely reacted. Thanks to my good instincts.

I

2009-03-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

dont know what to do.

Questions

2009-03-04T12:56:00.003+08:00

i need some answers to my life.

things have not been well lately, i hardly seem to care about anything anymore. Too lazy to bother about applications, too lazy to do homework, and whats worse than not caring about someone you're supposed to love?

i realized that i've not posted anything about you before, and thus, it's sad to say that this will be the first post, which isnt very happy.

i wonder,
what have i done?

i used to love,
i used to miss you.
but these are slipping through my fingers,
i'm losing grasp of you.
or rather,
i've loosened my fingers to let you go.
to let you fall out of my grasp.
why?
i need the answer.
an answer which i dont know.
or rather,
afraid to know.

yesterday was weird.
i msn chatted with one girl,
sms'ed another.
that msn changed to sms,
and i sms'ed 2 girls.
when both are done and i'm preparing to sleep,
the third called me.
what can i do?

eddie i finally understand why you cant like jaclyn although you like her.
it's weird when a girl finds you,
and ignores the next day.
it's difficult.

yc. i'm being unfair to you, i know.
buti cant help it.
things are just dry, and the rain refuse to come wet the lands again.

kwi need you.
but i care about your opinion of me too much to tell you all these.
i just cant.

hx i miss you.
i miss the days i used to knock at your door,
i miss the days i fought with you.
is the room next to mine going to stay empty forever?

a wrong choice leads to further wrong choices. what can be done to undo the wrongs?

blargh. this is just sad.

p.s. Huiyee, congrats for getting better. i know you wont be reading this, but i just wanna let you know that doing this like that just worries everyone around you.. think carefully next time okay?

Depressing

2009-02-22T22:47:00.004+08:00

Few days ago, a certain primary schoolmate added me on facebook. And yes, it is damn weird becoz i actually cant recognise her.
I only remembered her due to her unique surname, which i only know one person with taht surname in my entire life.
Yes people, i actually dont recognise her.
U didn read wrong. I dont recognise her =.=
Wut the hell. She look totally different. Used to be an ugly girl sitting at the corner, talking to herself, and now, when i saw her fb pics, she's like a model. Damn hot. Damn pretty.

But.

It's damn fake. In my opinion.
Yes, most girls mature into young women in this stage, and they do look different. But i'm serious. This friend of mine is BEYONG RECOGNITION. And, it's all because of makeup, hair rebonding, and this and that. what the hell..
she's undoubtly pretty, but in a very ugly way. do u know i really dont like people who wear thick makeup HMM. and she changed her name, into a certain english name.
Mr Lim ( physics lecturer ) : How you make something high standard?
Class : Give it a name. And a definition.
She changed her name, into a classy high standard name, and redifined herself using makeup. Plus, she went to studios and took lots of photos ( i think so ) which made her look like a model.
It's just like fake boobs, where it's always different from natural ones, or maybe fake butts for eddie since u r a butt person huh xD ( i dont know why i added in this line, but whatever =.= )
Do you think she's pretty?
Debatable.

Joke of the day =.=

2009-02-12T23:10:00.005+08:00

Janice just cut her hair, from the long hair she used to have, until very very short
Edward : Oi, what happened to your head?
Janice : WHAT? It's still intact.

HMmm. this is how 2 crazy people converse =)

by the way, this marks my 99th post =)

Hmmm

2009-02-09T11:29:00.002+08:00

Here I sit and here i wonder,
whats wrong with myself?
Emotions are hardly controlled by the heart anymore, but instead, the brain controls my emotions. I shocked myself but APPEARING offline that once when you onlined. what the heck? I really dont dare to face you sometimes, because i'm unsure of my own feelings, whether it's true. Being bloody busy had washed off all my bloody feelings for anything, and now, when it turned to emptiness, i blocked myself of any emotions. I just DONT feel anything. I dont get angry, i dont get dissapointed, i'm just.. an empty shell. Even now as i write this, it's no longer the 'emo' thingy. Lily said 'i missed the old emo you'. But i just cant feel anything. Last time i wanted a relationship because i wanted to FEEL. Now, i cant feel anything. WHY?

This is not me, and i hope u know it. Hey there, yes you, i cant talk to you anymore cause i have nothing to say. because i cant feel.. thats why i keep asking you to talk to me instead of me talking. and everytime u answer, 'har.. i dunno what to say one wor' it pains me to hear it because that just means, the convo is just going to end. I know this is NOT a one way street, but still, can you take up the talking role while i search for myself? I dont want to resort to others just yet, coz if i do, it'll be very bad for you. You know it.

Yesterday i went to aunts house. Bored out of my brains. After two weeks of 'cousins around my age' constantly around me, i was suddenly surrounded by kids no more than 10 years old. Pfft. let me giv you one situation.

The boys annoy the girls, the girls got irritated and start hitting the boys back, boys let them hit, then the boys started laughing like mad, then the girls laughed too coz cant tahan the stupid look the boys had, this one girl got mad at herself coz she herself laughed, went out of the house, came back with her toy bow hung on her, her toy sword and knife in both her hands, and said ' DONT FORCE ME TO USE MY ULTIMATE ON U I TELL U' 你就是要逼我用絕招是不是?'
WHAT THE HECK!

I might have to turn to religion for the time being to save myself from this craziness.

Hectic Life

2009-02-03T11:10:00.002+08:00

Ever since my exams ended, life's been very very hectic
A string of non stop commands from mum, requests from cousins, gaming calls from another cousin, bringing cousins here and there, resting, blargh. I dont even have time to go visit other people to take angpau. heck. i dont even have time to visit NEIGHBOURS to take angpau. =.=
yesterday wan the eighth day, hokkien pray sky day. Mum ask my cousins help prepare, sure la cousinss dunno how to do right. Everything also 'go ask he hui he know'. wa diao.
pffft. cousins wake up d. gtg

2009-01-29T19:30:00.002+08:00

The first four days of chinese new year flew past.
I realised that i no longer have this craving for angpaus. Some people might say, 'THATS BECOZ U HAVE THE MONEY' admit it, some of u do that all the time and i freaking hate it. and i dont care. but thats NOT THE CASE. i just lost the craving.
I got mad at some of my cousins omg.
I dont remember myself playing with explosives as dangerously as them. Heck. I doubt we even play dangerous. A kid, age 13, in my opiinon, SHOULD know that EXPLOSIVES CAUSES EXPLOSION. that S.O.A.B. threw one under a car. Smart. Thank got the car didn explode. I scolded him. I asked him WHY U THROW UNDER THE CAR? guess what he reply? he said, THen dun throw lo. I was so tempted to whack him up good and proper for being such a smartass.
Next, gosh i got so irritated with some of my other cousins at times. Aged 14,16,17,and 18. I was HOPING that they should be sensitive to their surroundings. Mothers from age 60 and above have been cooking and washing ever since 2 pm till 7 pm NON STOP. these people just finish their food, and leave their plates behind and expect the cooking people to wash up for them. and what have been doing the whole day? Sitting on the sofa, bullshitting. This situation would have happened if i didn got around, practically ORDERING everyone to help cleanup. Blargh. I guess i'm following my mum's footsteps to be 'The Bad Guy'.

I guess i'm very emotionless because i'm too occupied. I've no time for myself, for you. I had exams, and straight after that my cousins came, and going back hometown. I wish this will end once everything is settled.

A Post Without a titile

2009-01-29T19:27:00.002+08:00

I'm screwing things up.
I still cant believe that i screwed my stats exam that badly.
I cant believe i cant even organise a simple gathering for my ex classmates properly. Not just that, to create problems for everyone, and not even informing anyone about the cancellation. It's my fault i know, and i cant do anything to help it now.
Heck?

2009-01-23T22:41:00.002+08:00

losing a grip of myself..
have been so bloody busy lately, exams, entertaining cousins,
and i know u wont believe, but i didn dota for like 1 whole week already =.= until today, i finally had a break. blargh.
i realise i'm getting more and more emotionless, i dont feel anything anymore.
things that made me realise so,
1st, i forgot to bring my exam docket that day, i have to run from wisma all the way to KPD E to print it, i feel tense, but my heart didn even thump any harder or filled me with emotions or whatsoever.
2nd. i screwed statistics. My brain tells me 'OMG OMG OMG HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED' but honestly, i didn actually 'feel' anything.
any there's more to that but screw it.

heck, can you accept me for who i am now?
i miss you, but thats my brain telling me, not my heart,
or has it become a responsiblity?
I want to get my emotions back..
others, get lost!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4esxjV-O3A&feature=related

i need you to help me find myself once again..
will you be there for me?

Random

2009-01-18T10:50:00.003+08:00

1st things first, this is just a random thought. It's not my opinion. NO OFFENSE.

I was driving the other day, coming back from a busy day of college. Then it occured to me, that Robert Pattinson ( is that how you spell his name? didn bother to check up ) who starred as EDWARD CULLEN also played the role of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter. Girls has been going cukoo over him throughout the past months, ahh girls. Dont deny it =). However, i remember that as he starred as Cedric Diggory, people made this comment.

'He's not that good looking. Cedric Diggory should look better'

And truth to be told, you dont get girls vibrating in their seats and screaming 'OMG HE'S SO HOT' ever single time he comes on screen when he starred as cedric. ( Yes people, some girl did that. )

This makes me wonder. Whats the difference between Cedric Diggory and Edward Cullen? Probably some would argue, saying that one's a vampire and one's a wizard. But honestly, i dont see any difference except for him being older.

Which leads me to ponder upon this question.

Do girls like old guys, or, they are just falling for his red contact lenses?

感想

2009-01-11T20:48:00.002+08:00

人生百年，
电光火石，
本无一物。
何染尘埃，
随心到处，
便是楼台，
不必远上天山。

人生魔障未处，何忍自寻极乐？

Wondering..

2009-01-10T11:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really do wonder, what is life? I mean, not what life is, but why bother to live at all? So that we can suffer later? Comn, dont cheat yourselves by saying 'we dont know whats going to happen tomorrow you know' Yes, we might be happy, but yet again, 'greed' will make us unhappy. I WANT MORE. thats what going to make us unhappy. Bloody hell.
I really dont know whats got to me lately. I'm losing a grip of myself.

1st. I hardly get the 'emo' mood to blog anymore. Seriously. If you notice, lately my posts has just been posts, not exactly those that are written in 'better' form, which contains more point. Lol. Seriously, i really dont know what am i even blogging about at the moment. I really hope this is just because of exams, and it will wear off soon.

2nd. I'm not treating people closer to me the way i used to treat people close to me. In fact, i seem to be pushing them away more than i'm pulling them closer. What the heck is wrong? It's like everytime i say something, 2-3 seconds later i'll think about it and OMG why did i even say that. Heck.

3rd. I dont emo, but i cant get excited over stuffs either. Eg, during New year Countdown, i was more or less like a stone standing there, feeling absolutely nothing. Why? I cant even get into Countdown Mood. Gosh

4th. And Since i dont feel anything, i hardly get angry anymore too. I'm just EMOTIONLESS.

I hope i'll change back to myself when my cousins come back. Jeremy, Kenneth, Lucas, Hefeng HoeLeong, and Jeeyi. Help me out guys.

Miss you Sis. Distance proved to be pushing us apart. Should i go warwick so that we can regenerate our relationship? Haha. Just an idea =)

A Theory

2009-01-05T19:24:00.006+08:00

I have a theory.
People who have reached the ultimate in a certain area, will always be more humble than people who are reaching the ultimate/ on the way reaching it / trying to reach it, and people who are very far away from the ultimate, will look up to these people who make so much noise/ showy than the people who are there already.
Sounds confusing eh?
Let me give you an example.
In middle class society, people who are Rich, will tend to dress more humbly compared to people who are less rich. But once these people go up to a higher status, mixing around with higher class people, they tend to get greedy all over again, wanting fancy clothes with expensive taste, eating at higher class restaurants, so on and so forth. But if these people stayed where they are, the possibility of them being so is much less.
Clearer?
Another example.
Lets say there's an issue going on, hmm, assuming Boy A and Girl B secretly loves each other. They both know, and both of them have each a good friend, C and D, who knows everything about them. C and D are usually the ones who will keep your secret, making no sound of it unless necessary to anyone else. It'll always be E,F,G,H,I,J,K,... that finds out Part of it, and be a bigmouth, making false conclusions, ( or mayb correct ), and be a super kepo, telling everyone else. They are the ones which will cause Havoc, causing a great nuisance to annoy A and B. Why so? It's because they know part of a certain issue, wanting to know more about it, then they'll ask other people hoping that they might knowand tell them more about it.
Exactly my point. It's always those who know slightly, or being slightly richer than others, be it information, knowledge, money, or whatsoever, are the ones blowing water, ( cui sui ) being showy, and thus.
These people are IRRITATING. And they are the bloody backstabbers as they gossip amongst themselves, causing pain and suffering to others, while they live happily in the sea of sorrow caused.

I DESPISE these people.
They do not deserve luxury.
Eventually, they will get back what they did.
Karma - Buddhist , Hindu
Judgement Day - Christian
Islam - ( dont seem to have anything.. at least not that i know of )
Sikh - Karma ( I think ? )
Wiccan - Threefold Law
Me - I'll f*** u personally.

Get lost.

Mama Mia!

2008-12-29T16:39:00.002+08:00

I went for Mama Mia! the musical yesterday night. Muahahah~ Cant say it was AWESOMEE coz i've been to better ones, but i'd grade it 8.5/10 =) actually, i'd say the entire musical itself was just 7/10. One extra point for the SUPERB pianist cum Conductor. OMFG. THAT GUy is seriously AWESOME. he palyed the piano and conducted the whole orchestra at the same time. Bloody hell. And, he even got involved in the play at a certain moment of time. Gosh. And another 0.5 mark for the SUPERB ending of the play. With the moon coming down, and the couple walking towards the back of the stage, and the mist gradually increasing to cover up the 2. OMG. i think i have a picture of that somewhere.. upload it if i feel like it haha. After that, Went to Kampung Baru for a certain nasi lemak. Quite nice wehh.

Today went to Tenji Japanese Buffet Restaurant. It was at a super offer rate. RM29.00++ for an hour of lunch lol. I guess i ate around 50-60 worth of food hahaha~~ even my mum who can only eat a teeny weeny bit of food ate more than what we paid. Lol. Suggest u guys to go fast if u wanna meet with that offer.. It's gonna go on for a few more weeks i guess.. at least up till 1st jan 2009 it's confirm still on.. that makes it.. 2 more days hahah~~

Disappointment

2008-12-22T20:31:00.003+08:00

i just chatted with a junior, about stuffs he and the entire organisation did that day. they picked on a girl, their junior, on some mistakes she did.
The Case :
When campers sign in, they need to go to a certain wall, find their names on this certain paper, which includes their school, name, Xueji ID, address, and phone number ( if i not mistake ). Then go to a next piece of paper, which will tell them which classroom they will be sleeping in throughout the 4 day 3 night camp. Then, they will go to this certain counter, tell their ID, the counter person will find their name again on the IDENTICAL set of papers stuck on the wall, giv it to them, double check their details, sign. Then, campers have to go to the next counter, and pay up. NO resit, unless requested. which hardly anyone requests. Next, to go to the third counter, and collect their camp shirt, Xueji ID card, strings, and papers.

Assumptions : ALL the campers come at the same time.
People involved : Campers = 23st batch xueji, organisors = 22nd batch xueji, seniors

The Problem : Time taken is too long.

The steps taken by organisers :
They opened 2 lines for the campers to check details and followed by signing.

The arguement :
A certain senior xueji says that this whole process is damn slow. They, ( juniors, a.k.a. camp organisors ) shud have NOT set the sequence that way. They shud have opened both the SIGN NAME counter and the COLLECT ITEM counter together, let part of the queue to collect items, while the rest signs in. Time taken for the entire process will be cut down. Thus, the organisers is in fault in taking too long to sign in.

My point of view :
The time taken for the process is NOT cut down by much even if they allow the campers to take items 1st. Lets put it this way. Assuming Campers take 2 minutes to squeeze, and find their names on the walls on both the Details paper, and the 'where to stay' paper. Next, campers take around 30-40 seconds to find their name AGAIN ( since the papers is NOT numbered ) and to check their details for once, coz they are NOT informed before to check their details, and to sign. Next, campers take around 15-20 seconds to collect items. Since arguement is not related to time taken to find ur name on the wall, that will not be included in my arguement. As we can see, the main queue will be at the part where people Sign in, as it is taking up the most time. Thus, how much time can be cut down, even if you opened both ways? My xuedi ( classed under senior group, a.k.a. my junior ) said the time will be cut into half, and it is proven back during the previous camp. My point being, the difference between this 2 camps is, in That camp, the campers doesnt have to check details, and the length of the name list is shorter, cause there is less details. If every single person takes 5 extra seconds to check, and there's 100 people attending the camp, thats 500 extra seconds. Thus, i'd say there isnt much difference when you opened the second line to take ur items first. Cause it ISNT the main cause of time consumption.

My suggestion :
They should have first, pasted MORE papers on the walls to cut down the MAIN time consumption part. But since people dont arrive all at a time, that is relative. Thus, we focus on the NEXT time consuming part. They, organisers, SHould have informed campers to CHECK their details as they are checking their names on the wall, so that they dont have to check again their details at the counter. Then, the list at the counter should only include Xueji ID number and their names. Thus, people will only need to take around 10~15 seconds to sign in. Cutting down around 25-30 seconds each person. Considering it's a camp which includes more than a hundred people attending, this will cut down around 2500 ~ 3000 seconds. Then of course, they could allow part of the queue to go and collec their items first. But yet again, that wouldnt be necessary, and would affect much.

And, my way could be told During the process ITSELF instead my xuedi's way, which can only be told AFTER the process is finished coz it involves Moving the Arrangement of counters. My way could just be whispered into the ears of the people involved. And u'll say, the other seniors shud have OBJECTED to scold the person in charge while u'll are having the meeting, and honestly, i can also ask u, why scold afterward? why cant u Tell them straight and change it and save time first? then only scold, if necessary afterwards? u'll didn say a word ok. so what position u'll have to scold? U'll say their attitude not good, how much better u'll are? Shutting me off while i just started to explain ur mistake? Is that alot better? Think please. U disappoint me. seriously. U'll are never open when it comes to ur own mistakes. BUt very open when it comes to scolding other people. Save ur breadth when u cant even face ur own mistakes. Honestly, I WANT u'll to reply to this post if possible. Tell me what u think. But please, Also think of ur own idiotic attitude which pissed me off so much b4 u do so. Seriously. When are u ever going to learn?

I'm not saying u'll are not good. But i'm saying, sometimes, please, ponder unpon the situation more b4 u start scolding. reflect it upon urselves. Scold that one instead of other mistakes? comn. seriously. there's many other mistakes which are MUCH more severe than that. i'm quite sure of it. and besides, the delay caused wasnt severe. It was supposed to end and 10, and i think it ended around 10.15 ~ 10.20. and it's caused by latecomers, Not because of the system involved. So what is there to scold?

Camp

2008-12-21T21:01:00.003+08:00

Bloody hell. There's only 2 weeks left b4 my Unit 3's and Unit 4's examinations. And i still fly out and support u guys' camp ok. Feeel proud. Seriously. Lol. Welll, there's nothing much to say actually. The camp was pretty dull, honestly, and somehow i feel the lack of 'UM' throughout the camp. It's like Something missing in a big piece of picture. Seems right, but doesnt feel right.
Well well, back to the camp. Hmm.. well I cant exactly blame u guys for the camp u'll produced, since we, 21st and 20th, can hardly produce a good camp ourselves.. who to blame? hmmm hmmmH mmmmm dunno duncare notbothered. well, i guess i handpicked a few people who i think have the potential to complete the task i've given, and i sincerely hope they can take the FIRST STEP to CHANGE. Well, i guess u'll know what i'm talking about. Since this is an open post, there's stuffs which i cant blog about right. So, those with questions come pm me in MSN la ok. hehehe. Kai wei asked me why i suddenly so semangat Xueji. I told her, not really sure, but i guess it's because now is the Last time i'll be attending a xueji camp until a long time later, so i think it's about time i started to pass on some certain 'knowledge' to the next generations. But i'm doing it in a different way than it was supposed to be i guess. Apparently i was supposed to be biased to C area. AHahhaha. but i didn really care. what i want is for the whole bliddly organisation to have a revolution for the better, either to move BACKWARD or FORWARD. U guys know what i mean. seriously. it's time. to do something for the ORGANISATION, not for ur own areas anymore please. Guys, u're the hope. 让21届营主题‘起航’开始把好吗？u're the hope. well, if u need help, feel free to contact me, although i doubt i can be much help, but at least it's something i guess..
4 days 3 nights camp. Hmm, i think iw as there for about 6/10 of the camp. Cant say i'm Disappointed, but cant say i'm contended either.. well, i think u'll know how did u do.. i was pretty hyped throughout though, especially i started playing 'scissors paper rock' with wei yu and never lost a single round for at least 15 rounds straight hehehe. hahah! and it's like, i ask him go play with people, i ask him to use either scissors, papers, or rock , for many rounds and i keep help him win when i tell him what to use LOL. probably it's a lucky streak, or mayb i'm just PRO hahaha! however, my hyped mood was spoilt at the final part of the camp due to some unintended words from someone. sigh
这是维宇寄给我的信息。
学哥好
有时别太重视一个问题
也许是个好事
有我就可以了
哈哈
不放心的话，给个信息吧
有个知道也好啊
加油！
鱼的传人上
NO CREDIT LA DUDE. HOW U WAN ME REPLY. =.=
well, haha anyway, still wanna thank u for temen-ing me for the past days. for that issue i was 'emo' about, i think anyone else also will emo when that happens lo ok lol. hahaha.. well well, it's over now la i guess. hehee. so, whatever lah... sighs.
dunno what to write d suddenly. too many chat windows popping. hahah. have a nice day =)

~WinterAngels~

Stupid day

2008-12-16T14:22:00.002+08:00

It's only afternoon, and everything is shit now. Woke up late, therefore missed maths. Cousins came, then i screwed their game. What the hell

Christmas LOL!!!

2008-12-14T11:38:00.003+08:00

SUPER FUNNY CHRISTMAS CAROL LOL!!!

*sing along with.. dunno what tune is that lol. u look at the last line of the 1st para.. u shud know*

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cash

I'm telling you why:

Recession is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,

It's hitting you twice

It doesn't care

if you've been careful and wise

Recession is coming to town

It's worthless if you've got shares

It's worthless if you've got bonds

It's safe when you've got cash in hand

So keep cash for goodness sake, HEYY

ou'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cash

I'm telling you why:

Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing

Finance products are so vague

The banks make you bear the cost of risk

So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cashI

'm telling you why:

Recession is coming to town.

Just an Update

2008-12-14T08:13:00.005+08:00

I see that there's tons of people updating stuff everyday, and to realise that i hardly update my blog at all. After some thinking, i realised that there's 2 reasons why i dont update. 1. I play too much, and what little time left is used to study. ( Yes, it's unbelievable. ) 2. I only update when there's a urge to write, which happens rarely, and half of the time i wouldn't have a computer around me when i had. Sigh. Don't blame me =( If only there's a computer which can record thoughts, i bet i'll have a million posts in a year xD

I dont take photo's much, so i dont have any 'photos down the memory lane' to post about. Sigh haha. Well, i have this book, only for non christians, which i think is quite a good book. Sorry with all the religion-ism here, but since it's about witchcraft, i really dont want the christians to get all offended with this book lol. It's about a girl who is choosing between Wicca, and Catholic, comparing and contrasts, and a much better love story compared to Twilight =.= Here's a picture of it =)

Hmmm. Yeap. Book of shadows, is a diary sort of thing for the witches in the books... Well, Irvina John already said that she want to borrow it from me, but she's currently reading Darren Shan and after that Pendragon, so i guess it'll be a while before she actually can start on this book. Anyone interested? xD

I shall end this stupid post with a picture from the 'blockbuster' movie. A stupid movie which people watch 2-3 times just to waste their money. It's Kimberly Tan's favourite picture. Sigh.

Btw, YC went siao the other day. Was spamming SiuFong's website all over garena lol. And i still dont see why is it Funny. =.= And that day he keep use nevermore ( Shadow Fiend, apparently SF ) and keep go like MY SF. SF SOOOOO PRETTY.

Pictures of nevermore, try compare it with SiuFong HERE
I dont see any similiarities between them. HAHA!!

For dota freaks, here's some nevermore info =)

Byez

Connections

2008-12-08T10:38:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the first time ever i actually talk to my mum and dad about the girls in my life openly, using NAMES and all. Felt weird at the beginning, but it got ok after a while..
Apparently amongst all my mum likes kai wei =) although she used to comment how chatty and long winded kai wei is haha. and my mum made a comment 其实你最喜欢的是凯微吧？而且你现在还很喜欢她。wowz. pro =) 不知我妈她怎样看得出的。哈哈。
最近也很多人问我，你的'ideal girl'是怎样的？我的答案很长，所以就不写了。哈哈。但我今天，冲凉时，突然想想，我所要求的qualities大部分都跟凯微很相似。难道，这么久了，在我心里深处，我还是隐隐约约的喜欢着她吗？Hmmm...我也不想知道答案。我知道的，就只是，我跟他现在是很要好的朋友，我也不打算去改变它。
我虽然是追惠仪蛮久的，但我一向都知道，它是不会喜欢我的。。哈哈。所以，追也是追‘爽’的。当然，我说过的东西都不是假的。。只是说，我其实是了解我跟他在一起的机会并不大。。哈哈。。隋缘吧。。最近好像又喜欢了两个人，一个喜欢我，一个不喜欢我。不喜欢我的，有很多很强的factor让我很像继续喜欢她。但喜欢我的，有很多负面的factor叫我不能跟他在一起。== 微微，帮帮我呀。。tamade.. whats wrong with my comp. chinese canont type d =.= kw ar.. sometimes i really wanna share with u these stuff, but somehow or rather, i dunno how to tell you.. coz at times, i really think this is not me.. i guess u had the same feeling when u 1st told me about forest also right.. but i was persistent in asking u so u eventually got comfortable.. aiks.. sometimes i really wish u will ask me so that i will tell =.= use ur u mobile to call me ya.. hehe.. jie jie.. if ever u come online, and if u wanna appear offline, pls pm me also o.. coz there's things i wanna ask and tell u.. sigh. just wanna talk la actually.. with people i can trust with my life haha.. which is basically u 2 la hehe. but u 2 also so far away. 2 in negeri sembilan.. bad enough.. another in uk OMG =.=
lol today my english sucks =.= i guess i'll have to start blogging again. i lost my flair of writing. blargh. i meant as in writing blogs hahahahaah...
to all, the 'emo' period might be over soon. but it MIGHT get worse also. ish. so confused haha. =) cheers. have a nice day to all

HH

(titled)

2008-12-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

studying chem but i cant concentrate =.= came here to spam abit
adgjda gd
gsh
sdh
dj

kjr
kji teuja
ewrujaerju eatjetj
aetj eje tjaerhuAewY ARJUIATE
K Wu sy
k sri sti aeti y
lory osro srlosrl strkij artjk
a trj atkj rekija tteut aeru era rewayewri e6tioailorwhg oahw gjaiwrj yhajkrhka
worh
apwr
hijawirhj aiwe h'goiawrey09u2-6yut-23 6=5 4306[i 4
ay
aweu ya
u yau
wr ojyh awroih parwj h
[ewar opjawe
rh
ok i had my fun. bye bye

...

2008-11-28T20:08:00.003+08:00

Just coming here to write something to warm up this stagnant blog. Havent been feeling like updating lately.. Nothing much to blog about anyway, it has just been exams, exams, and exams.

Been pretty moody lately.. due to god know what reasons..

I'm really blank.

I might seem to be in some shitty love problem, but no. It's been a while since i actually cared about stuffs about love. Lately it's been something else bothering me. Something big. Something heavy. In fact, too heavy for me to carry.

At this moment, i'm rather depressed.

(untitled)

2008-11-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

Today Lily asked me.
' Hey, aren't u happy that she broke up? I mean, you sohuld be right? Since like at least if u can't have her, don't you wish that she can't have anyone too?'
I replied.
' I dont know. I am not happy la. It's just.. I dont care what happens to her and her relationships actually, since i only want her to be happy. Whoever she is going to be with, or is with, or when anything happens to her.. And besides, I still have to face the fact that she can Never like me. '

Sometimes i do wonder why she just cant like me. Maybe it's because i aint good looking enough, or maybe it's because i've pissed her off before. Maybe maybe maybe.. Maybe it's because i am not good enough for her, Maybe because of personality, or whatever. Bottom line is, I Dont Know. Bottom Bottom line is, she Wont like me =)

Or maybe i just cant be anything more than a friend for her.

I find it hard to blog about feelings these few days. Somehow. My mind just turns Blank when i start typing. Unlike previously.

ZZZZZZ wtf is this. CL ( a girl, if u dunno, pls refer to the blog post around 5-6 posts b4 this i'm not really sure ) Just PM'ed me in MSN. Wow that sparked me up. I replied ' hey. lol u today too free ar? ' cause she normally NEVER find me. After my reply, she didn reply for 2-3 minutes. I typed again ' lol u find wrong person issit ' and she replied 'ya' WHAT THE ............................................. KNEW IT LA! GOod things will NEVER happen to me. NEVER. the day they happen is the die i die.

ZZZ. that just spoiled my mood. Byez

Falling apart..

2008-11-18T19:59:00.000+08:00

what am i supposed to do? TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP? blargh.
mocks coming soon, and i know NUTS about anything. i'm so screwed.

Randomoisity

2008-11-15T16:44:00.000+08:00

Today went to some friends blog, and to realise that their blog is going emo due to love stuffs lol! Probably end of year, Spm time is like a breaking time since it's the parting of ways. to go to college, to not, blah blah blah.
Like i care.
I couldnt be bothered by 'love' right now.
So much for being in love and getting weird again and again.
Now all i bloody care is the STUPIAK ulsers in my FREAKING mouth.
When is the CB bracers coming off.
a year =.=
OMG HOW U PEOPLE TAHAN ONE!
it's only second day. and i have like what, 5-6 ulsers d.
i really regret getting bracers.
it's not as if i do it for looks =.= more of hygiene purposes =.=
if u ask me to do this again for looks, i'll fart in ur face i tell u.
blargh.

Feelings

2008-11-11T17:35:00.000+08:00

How would it feel,
to like someone who is impossible for u to be with?
How would it feel,
to like someone who already has someone else?
How would it feel,
to see that someone being unhappy and you are powerless to do anything?

I see no future.
I see no hope.
I see things falling apart.
Things which that someone tells you.
And yet,
you have to answer while you are
conflicting against yourself,
to help that someone heal the situation,
and be once happy with someone else?
Or to help her get out of it,
so that you get a chance?

The 2 souls in you combat,
and when you reply that someone,
it always go both ways,
you always provide a choice for that someone,
to go either back to someone else,
or you.
Discipline is required to not get biased on either side,
to be equal, so that things may be whats best for that someone.
Does it matter if she appreciates?
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Nothing more than that.
Because you can't hope for anything more.

To conflict with someone you love is torture,
to conflict within yourself is disastrous.

To love you is my choice,
and yet,
it's a sin,
against myself.

Some Day.

2008-11-07T21:10:00.000+08:00

It started out as a usual day, me lazing around, listening to lecturers, well, u get the idea. Somehow, i got sleepyy... keep losing my train of thoughts, and start to STONEEE..
Finally class finished.. Dex, Fux, Eugene, Angie, etc etc heading off to one U for BOND. OMGG!!! i wanted to go =.= but too bad, having a dental appointment with Dr. Tan at 2.45. have to giv the movie a miss. Thus, to kill that 2 hours and 45 mins, i visited a long lost friend. Cyber Cafe! haha. this is the 2nd time this year i went CC. Dota'ed with some people there.. one of my worst games lol. Broodmother lvl 18 with threads and BKB only =.= thank goodness my team didn diu me. Coz i didn feed haha. Anyways, went to get my separator stuck in my teeth again, and i left.
While driving back on LokeYew, i reached 110km/h, to only realise that i am so tired that i dozed off lol. well actually, i was just stoning. Thankfully not for long =.= While driving, i began an inner fight, to eat or not eat mcD. Eventually i went. And the first thing i saw was OMFG! LONG QUEUE. then the next thing i saw was a pair of STRIKINGLY ( ugly xD ) pink pants which seem really familiar. Black shirt. Oh. yeah. that combination belongs to someone =.= Got one boy beside her.. Hui Yee!! Called that blur fella who dont recognise my car. haha.
Drove home, reached 110 again. Then suddenly an idiot motorbike SHOT PAST ME WHILE I"M DRIVING 110! guess who? white motorbike, blue stripes. POLICE. nt bad eh. Speed limit is 80, i'm 30 over it, that police at least 30-40 over me. That makes him,, 140-150?

Silently in love. you are 'busy', but i'll be silently watching ur back. Unlike the previous attempts, i will be silent this time. Just to be there for you. Since there's not much point for me to go after anyone anymore.
I'm ready to laugh when you do, i'm ready to catch when u fall.

Weird Stuffs

2008-11-03T19:40:00.001+08:00

Today 2 weird things happened.
1. Right after college, i noticed my car was blocked by another car parking behind me =.= ILLEGAL PARKER. i called the number, then the girl said that OK OK I"M COMING. while i waited in my car, 3 person went past. The first was a boy. so obviuosly, it wasnt the car owner. 2nd was a Fat girl. ANd i was like OMFG U FATTY. HOW DARE U PARK BEHIND MY CARR!!. then she walked past. lol. Then 3rd was THE girl. lol.. she looked kinda ok, from far quite pretty in fact LOL and i was like.. Hmm.. FIne LAA!! lol notice how LOOKS actually decide ur fate when it's 1st time meeting HAHA. and i actually contacted her after that =( at least i made a friend. an illegal parking friend. Her name's Chia Wen LOL.
2. Ah long came to my street today. Went around sending flyers about Someone who didn pay up their borrowingss.. No details. Coz i'm not mentioning lol.

haha..

2008-11-01T13:33:00.000+08:00

just recieved this today... MUAHAHAHHAA... too bad for those who cannot read chinese =)
yesterday went to HELP psychology department's halloween night =) aha... edward was happy =) it was meant for him anyway lol... i will post photo's either here or in fb soon.. stay tuned =)

another post, BEST QUOTES EVER!!!~
1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

3. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

4. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

5. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

Witty isnt it? Just for laughs!

Messed up

2008-10-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

What happens when you find urself in a situation, both really happy and really pissed at the same time? When ur mood Swings from TIP TOP to TOTALLY SHIT within like 10 seconds? it's like u have a Pendulum as ur 'mood decider'. Swing swing swing. Thats a quick summary of what i'm feeling this instant. This. VERY instant.
I quite hate what i'm feeling right now. Past few months, ( or was it weeks? ) was once that i LIKED someone, for real, and to spend like another whole month trying to forget. It hurt me pretty much in the process, and yeah, there's still a picture of her at a place where i see everyday. But whatever la.
Then there's this girl that came into my life. She appeared to be nice, to be a nice friend. Well, i wouldnt say that i like her/love her, but i just wanna be closer than what we are at the moment. Although i have this feeling that eventually things wouldn't work out fine. It was a strange feeling yeah. Like we probably are just going to talk for a while, then slowly, Things are going to Fall Apart. ( yeah, so very Chinua Achebe =.= ). Well, things Did fall apart for a little while, then things came back as normal, then it fell apart again, then it came back =.=. that pretty much contributed to the fact that i'm having such stupid mood swings. Today i chatted with her, it started alright, and i was pretty happy and so and so. Then came a certain line in the chat that made me swing 180'. To totally emo. Then after a while, I fell alright again, then WTF. Another line. And i gave up. I sort of 'eeh eeh aah aah' throughout the rest of the convo.
Why? Yeah i do like her, but it's not the bf/gf kind of love thingy, but more of a 'hey i find u pretty interesting' kind. But this 'relationship' we are having is dissapointing me day by day. why? no idea.
Other reasons which contributed my current status,
1. Some PISSING OFF during evening. Certain people will know why. And THAT, was IRRITATING. if ever i find out how to Lock a post, i WILL SPAM A HECK LOT ON THAT TOPIC and let people who i AGREE to read them ny.
2. The SMOKE due to the buring of josssticks my grandma is using to help my mum pray for her birthday ( according to chinese calendar ). The smoke just creeps up my nose and gimme a double dose of FLU. flu 1. sick. flu 2, sinus prob. I used like what, 5 tissues a minute? until my nose went red and i decided, SCREW IT.
3. Some reminder of some awfully painful past events. =.=
4. Missing someone really important in my life.
5. Tired-ness
6. Physics and Mr.Lim
7. Facing a certain shitty Math teacher tomorrow.
8. Every other reason in the world =.=

The only funny thing today
( from seng yik's blog )
it goes like,
Why does abdullah only functions properly at night?
Coz he's PM not AM.

haha.

WHATEVER LAH! i'm PISSSED, TOTALLY MESSY and tired.
ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.......

Random-ness

2008-10-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

oh and i just remembered. the event of the day.

Fu Syan PEE-ED on DEXTER"S wallet =.=
omigosh. dexter got a nice wallet now =)

Emptiness

2008-10-20T20:08:00.001+08:00

It's been quite boring for a while.. i tried to quit gaming, but it lasted for only 3 days. tried to quit dota, but it lasted only five =.= thanks to friends who keep ask me to play lol. but, i'm determined to reduce my time on games, and to do my homework. Proud to say, i finished my Physics homework!! screw maths. i did some, but not all. heheheh. anywayz, i will update when i come across another emotional rush Or there's something going on.

weee...~

Wondering..

2008-10-14T15:57:00.001+08:00

I'm in the dark. Pitch Black. Extending my hands, i tried to find a wall to feel my way around. I took a few steps forward, hoping to find my wall. Or a tree, or anything that i can lean/depend on. Yet, there's none.

Where am i?

Just at that moment, a lightning stroke, and thunder roared, while rain hailed through the night sky. In that flash of a moment, i thought i saw myself in a room, built from planks and covered with cob webs. I wasn't interested. I saw what i needed. The window. Which meant that there's a wall beside it. I headed towards that direction, quickening my pace. Squish. Something gooey exploded beneath me. I didn want to bother, but i slipped, and fell. I felt as if i fell further than what is needed to fall to the floor. I thus deduced that i fell right Through the floor and somewhere underneath.

Where am i?

Standing up, i finally admitted that i am lost. I tried to hear the sound of rain, or the clap of thunder. Yet, what i hear is. Nothing. There's nothing i can do. I sat down, and begin to wonder what i ahve done in this life, to recall the happiness which i've ever shared with anyone. but no. I dont recall anything. Everything that i remember is depressing, is sad. I only remember the times i lost a certain event, i fell hard on my face, getting slapped, etc. etc. yes, it's as if a Dementor is around me, sucking what little happiness that is left within me.

To lose love is to lose your way, to lose yourself.

Sitting there, i felt a presence, my hope. I felt YOUR presence. Screaming, hope that you can hear me. Heyyyyyy!!!! My throat went hoarse. Echoes of my screams ringed in my ears. Again. Again. Again.. and again....

I lost the light of my life, and while i live in the darkness, i hope you'll be well. and happy.

Random

2008-10-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

my mood swings are terrible lately. yesterday when i went out with some friends, i think i switched moods 4-5 times omg. and the worst part is that i go from extreme's to extremes. sheez. i've been visiting some blogs just now.. reading about people and friends. how they gave up friendship for love, and regretting it, or about how lovey dovey that particular couple is now, etc etc. and thus it occurred to me, i'm alone. A.L.O.N.E. sheesh. why? few days back, i wanted to go out and watch a movie, and watching movies alone is kinda boring. so yeah, i picked up my phone, scrolled through my contacts. heck. although i have more than 200 contacts there, i seriously have no one to call. prolly some not that close, mayb some wont come out. some i dont want to go out with them. some live too far. some mayb not free, and so, and so. i ended up scrolling through my contact list three times, and to come to no result.

i guess i'm quite disliked after all. to be honest, who will actually come out with me even if i called? am i important enough to let someone leave whatever he/she is doing at that moment, and just to plainly entertain me? guess not. oh wait, not guessing, is SURE not. =.=

i guess even this blog is hardly visited anymore lol. and for those who do, i sincerely thank you for doing so. although i hate tags, but i did WC's tag. for the sake of friends. to think that i actually came up in his mind as he chose to tag people.

i want to know myself. but at the same time, i want people to know me, to believe in me, to be friends, not aquaintances ( not sure of the spelling ).

never be satisfied. always ask for more. for the right things, at the very least.
when one reaches his goal, he fails.

and thus, i'm alone.
still.

Bloody tag

2008-10-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

This is by far the longest tag ever in the history of blogging ! Fyi, it’s a 100 questions tag ( like i care ). And it’s also the 1st ( bullshit ) tag I am doing since I step foot in blogging. Here goes nothing ( crap more like ) !
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse.
These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
C) Continue this game by sending it to other people.
I’ve tagged:
Screw this tag. No one is tagged.

01. What have you been doing recently?
Everything except to actually bother about tags =.=
02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
When it malfunctions. DUHHH
03. What happened at 10.00am today?
sat at the living room, staring at my ceiling
04. When did you last cry?
Hmm... April i think. Jamie, dont tell anyone about the reason lol
05. Believe in fate/destiny?
Yeah i guess so
06. What do you want in your life right now?
I want tags to dissappear from this world
07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
i normally romantically walk in the rain.
8. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Myself.
9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Does it even matter ==
10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
You look like an idiot
11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
Hmmm.. ask whoevers' going to date me? coz i dont know?
12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
=.= NO
13. What was the last movie you caught?
Connected. About 30 mins ago
14. What are you proud of?
My Piano
15. What does the oldest message in your inbox says?
e mail = Welcome to hotmail
Hp : Jason : Where's class? 05/08/2008
16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Cant remember
17. Do you have any nicknames?
H square. Babi. Harry. there's more i think =.=
18. What does your last received text message say?
Yeah u know den good xD should just type the url la aiyo
19. What time did you go to bed last night?
2 o clock
20. Are you currently happy?
Obviously i'm pissed with this tag. DAmn u weng chung =.=
21. Who gives you best advice?
my heart =)
22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
never try b4.
23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Kai wei i think
24. Is anything bugging you right now?
this tag
25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
tze pei i think. since we just went out =.= might be janz or phua though
26. Do you wear toe socks?
i'm not a socks world supporter
27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
mum. to wake me up =.=
28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
read my blog lol
29. What annoys you most in a person?
people who i talk to and just dont bother to reply
30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
now? prolly?
31. Have you ever done cocaine?
i thought there's tons of them in coffee, tea and milo?
32. What is the colour of your room?
Barley white
33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
when i'm sentenced to die to?
34. Do you believe in the saying of : talk is cheap?
Yea
35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
my sister. be4 she went back to uk.. sigh
36. Who was the last person to hug you?
dunno. it's been ages
37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
err. yeah. she has her life too isnt it?
38. Do you have a life?
how do u think i'm answering this lame shit then? omg. 62 questions to go
39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?
no
40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
dont have any
41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
errr... my cousins i guess
42. Last time you smiled?
lame question
43. Have you changed this year?
yeah
44. What are you listening right now?
The blowing of my air cond
45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Hui yee lol
46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
depends
47. Is there a quote you live by?
no
48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
yes. quite badly in fact lol
49. Have you ever played an instrument?
yeah.
50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in this week?
to actually bother this piece of crap. 50 more to go -,-
51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?
chatting with giok aik
52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
no
53. What song best describe your love life?
Dunno.
54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
dunno whether she knows
55. Who always make you laugh?
myself
56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Mandarin, Bm, HOkkien, Canton,
57. Favourite website(s)?
none
58. What’s your middle name?
He. LOL
59. What are you doing tomorrow?
wasting my time
60. What do you think you are like?
a waste of space, a pollution to pictures =)
61. Who will you choose to die with?
what sort os question is this
62. Where have you been today?
MV
63. What game do you play often?
Dota. Vampirsm Fire.
64. Who are you missing right now?
Not telling the world
65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose?
depends on who
66. What are you doing right now?
isnt it obvious?
67. Which primary school are you from?
SJK C Tmn Connaught
68. Name 3 colours that you like?
Black white Grey
69. What emotion you like to show?
Ignore
70. What is your life to you?
Read my blog for the answer. It's abit long
71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Nothing. Stare. Emo.
72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
Chui Ling
73. Who do you admire most?
Pornstars. For their bravery LOL. Just jk
74. Which month are you born in?
June
75. How are you feeling right now?
Pissed. with this good for nothing crap
76. What is the time now?
6.18 pm
77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?
NOthing better to do since they actually answer this tag too. Sorry WC =)
78.What colour did you use to dye hair?
...
79. Why are you doing this test?
Coz WC will bug me if i dont =.=
80. What do you do when you’re moody?
Blog
81. At which age you wish to get married?
28-30 i guess?
82. Who is more important to you?
a comparision between who and who?
83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
Kill myself. Die earlier
84. Who is the person you trust the most?
Hmm. Kai Wei
85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
I dont care
86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
To know who i am
87. What is your goal for this year?
Football Goal
88. Do you believe in eternity love?
If i dont i can never marry anyone
89. What feeling do you love most?
To be loved. To be cared
90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
when was this created? 1908?
91.What feeling do you hate the most?
To be be chucked aside by someone i care
92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
most of them
93. Do you believe in God?
No.
94. Who cares for you most?
My mum. Like duhh
95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Health
96. What will you bring when you fight?
i'd prefer not to be in one
97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
Nt yet
98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
Feel like what i'm feeling now
99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?
meaning?
100. HOW DO U FEEL NOW?
i wanna screw this tag all over.

Back from Kahang.

2008-10-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Boo.. broke my record. This time my top speed was 140 km/h on north south highway. OMg... my hand was freaking sweating when i drove that fast.. and believe me, it's really cold sweat. There's this stupid asshole mercedes who thinks he's the Toufu Shop Of Malaysia and folo me so damn close, and this Big Bus on my left. i was on fast lane. THat asshole of a mercedes keep flash me. Diu. I already steeping on the gas as hard as possible u flash fuck ar? Drove up to 140 to cut that cut, to find that there's another van in front, and have to cut that van too. ZZZZZZ. SIGH BIG BIG. but at least i can handle 110 - 120 km/h quite nicely already.. muahahahhaha

ahhhh.. after YEARS, i'm finally close with people besides the usual five of us, jeeyi, hefeng, he long, my sis and i.. Congrats to si yun and si lei for joining the group LOL. si yun is so much fun.. BULLIABLE!!! hahaha.. soo sooo sooooo my type lol. cheh.. self proclaimed pretty eh!! ( actually also quite good looking de ) haha.. hope to see u guys again during chinese new year!!

after the long drive home, i sit here, in front of my computer, feeling down. why? hardly any reasons at all. prolly i missed my cousins already? hardly. I think is because i've lost that sole dependant yet again. I'm now alone, with no one beside me. There's hardly anyone Physical which i can confide into, talk to, anymore. My sis, Kai Wei, gone. When i went back to hometown, Si yun proved to be a worthy one to talk to, but yet again, it's gone. It passed. I am dependant. I need someone. Someone to talk to, someone to spill, someone to spill back. I need company, i need someone who wants my company, someone who will company me. Ever since my breakup, i doubt i really need a girlfriend after all. But, what i want more is someone to spill my love to, and someone who can do the same in return. That someone doesnt have to be my girlfriend, but more of a friend who will listen, who will talk with me, to cry and laugh together. Yes, i need a sister. ARGH!! When my sis was back, she spent most of her time with others. But, it's when she's around, i feel that i'm once again full of life, not a living corpse thats moving around aimlessly. Her being AROUND itself had provided me with the thing i require most, which i want most. Accompaniment. Which is why, the person i want doesnt have to be my girlfriend, but yet again, who else but a girlfriend will be there for you most of the time? Sigh. When i went back to kahang, it felt right. Relatives around, but one, that just one, had it all for me. The girl, which i can talk to, poke fun, bully, to be bullied, to hold her hand when i feel lost at moments of time, to lean on when i'm not in my best, Thank You, my cousin, to be there for me, for that one day. Sincerely. You have given me something which i've missed sincerely. For many many months. If only u are in Kuala Lumpur... how i wish ~