Feelings

For some reason i find it inappropriate to blog about feelings lately, thinking that it'll just turn a girl majorly off if they see some guy who likes them blog about his feelings. But since i'm waiting for my phone battery to finish charging before going to sleep, and i'm positive she's not going to read this, yeah why not.

well, to cut long story short, i've fallen into a small dillema previously, and had a lil taste of what's it meant to be 'loyal' i suppose? well, maybe to u girls and guys out there i'm meant to be. i dont know.

as i previously mentioned, i liked a girl i met on some occasion. as some of you might know her, no names mentioned her, yet, at least. well, considering i met her only once, ( yeah quick i know ). nice thing to say, i didn run out of topic after the 1st 2 days. so, surprisingly, it doesnt fall out like it usually does. but after a certain period, maybe she was emo, so she talked less, or maybe i was emo and i had nothing to say, i dont know. bottom line, awkward silence is occuring more and more. but for some reason, i actually had dreams having kids with her. weird i know. just on the side note, i'm tired of 'dating around'. not that i had alot of experience with it, i just dont want to do it.

call it an coincidence, hopped along a girl i took fancy about.. 4 years ago? yeah roughly about that. prolly the hottest girl in that society or i dont know. well, coincidence never happen just once, they happen in a streak and thats what make them coincidence. she started talking to me, then topic jumped to her and my relationship 'life'. she became emo, topic ended when she said she gotta go. and poof. she said, "if you come back without a gf, u can call me". ahh i see. well i sort of led on to that tbh, partly my fault, but oh wells, that phrase came out.

then the prolly what is considered the 'flowery' part of me started like WOW. omg. hot girl actually giving me chance? sounds despo, but yeah. things werent going very well with the girl i liked, so i considered.

as time went on, i then realised how much i missed the girl i liked. even though i was considering the other girl, my heart(?) never left her. so i stopped thinking about the other girl, well, since i've been friends with her for years, 1 line wont change anything. friends last dont they? friendship dont get spoilt by 1 line.

one day, i was called xiao yan, ( or she called me. i'm not sure ). she was doing work, i was playing minesweeper. then i realised how quiet we both were until we started argueing who was right in minesweeper ( i was sharing screen on skype ). point being, silence isnt such a bad thing actually. when u have nothing to say, just keep quiet. but iif u've nothing to say, but u keep trying to push topic, thats what make the awkward silences occur? i guess, considered i can skype call jonathan chow ( friend of mine from HK ) while he's playing World of Warcraft while i'm playing dota. each of us talking about our own game. many silences, but it wasnt awkward.

so, i'm going to see how long i can like her. it wont be as 'difficult' as it sounds since, i know literally no more than 2 brit girls. but still, i'll see.

and oh btw, homesickness is settling in.

song of the day,

Home, Michael Buble

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michaelbuble/home.html

"Home"

Another summer day

Has come and gone away

In Paris and Rome

But I wanna go home

Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

I just wanna go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Each one a line or two

“I’m fine baby, how are you?”

Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough

My words were cold and flat

And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane

Another sunny place

I’m lucky, I know

But I wanna go home

Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home

I’m just too far from where you are

I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life

It’s like I just stepped outside

When everything was going right

And I know just why you could not

Come along with me

'Cause this was not your dream

But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come

And gone away

In even Paris and Rome

And I wanna go home

Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home

I’ve had my run

Baby, I’m done

I gotta go home

Let me go home

It will all be all right

I’ll be home tonight

I’m coming back home