Sitting in front of the computer, i'm feeling bitter. As jason is today. both of us share the same feeling, rejected and dejected. Someone rubbed my raw nerve, too bad for you. I'm still replying you, but somehow, it seems very weird for me. I ponder upon the question, 'what do people say if they meet every other day?' basically everything you did, and something interesting right? but what if your partner tells you that he isnt interested in what happens to you? doubt you can continue talking. but still, stuff like that do happen, when it builds up, someday it'll explode.

never a day i can stop imagining you
still, i can never picture you by my side coz i know you wont

being bitter aint fun. but still, you cant help being bitter, especially, when you know the person you love cant be with you, and yet, you cant just leave her alone. but when you find her, you cant talk about basically anything at all. terrible aint it?

holding the handphone, replying your messages
you know how i feel? or rather, do you care?

you dont have much chance to meet her. when there's a possible chance, you grab it tight. yet, she isnt always true to what she says. sometimes, things can happen last minute and plans gone. on the other hand, sometimes you're not free. tough isnt it? but still, you're capable of holding you end, jpwever unbalanced the other end is.

every moment you shared is etched deeply in the mind. detailed, specific, and beautiful. even the sad moments when you argued, fought, quarelled, is part of the big beautiful design. i might not pay attention to the small specific detail, but the general picture, will always be there. winds can blow and rain can storm, only the small parts will be lost at most. the deepest scars left is impossible to be washed away.

thinking, recalling, replaying.
nothing can be done

the radio is spoiled. some moments are repeated non stop. as tears gently creeps to the corner of his eyes, bringing him back to the moments that will never be replayed again. hurtfully.

i poured my heart and soul
which you happily pushed it aside
said 'thanks'
what i wished and hoped for
was something very different from thing
but yet
there's nothing i can do
the helplessness i feel
only i alone can understand
staring outside, staring at nothing in particuliar
i have nothing to do, but
hope

*hoping for what? i dont know