Nature
The past week i'd been arguing loads of times about this. Why didn i pay for Mei Yin's prom ticket.
First of all, even if i pay, i would be my parents paying for it. Even if i pay it out of my own pocket, it's still my parents money. And besides, i'm not the only one with allowance if u know what i mean. Tatsuki said, 'if you invite the girl to come, then you should pay for her'. whats with the Should? is there such a thing as u SHOULD do something? It's always an option, whether or not u choose to do it or not. For example, one Should attend classes. It's a fact isnt it? But rule says, if you miss classes, you'll be punished. But still, there's lots of people who skip classes. Why? Dont rule say one cannot miss classes? Debbie said, 'it's the guy's courtesy to pay for the girl'. Does it mean that if the guy doesnt pay, he's faking the invitation? Or he's rude?
Last time, long ago, this tradition was so because the women are the ones that usually dont work and stay at home. Thus, they dont have financial income. That is why the guy pays for the girl. But now, both sexes work and yet, girls EXPECT the guys to pay for them. Why so? is it because the girls are looking down at themselves as being unable to support themselves? I dont know. What i believe is both are the same. I look upon girls as equals. Financially, educationally, and everything. Who gave girls the privilege? no one. Is there such a rule? no. Is the such a tradition? Yes. But issit followed by everyone? No. And who are those who follow? those who think that they are too rich, or they felt like treating the girl. It's not the duty for a man to treat women at all times. It's because he feels like it at that moment of time. Therefore, there's no such thing as a ShOuld in this arguement.
It's quite hard to actually put my thoughts into words, and besides, it's not really nice to blog about it anyway. So i therefore shall just leave it here. I SHALL say again. Everybody is Equal to me. And it's always fair that way. Bu still, how do one justify fairness? A thing is only fair when it's to the speaker's advantage. Take note. It's always the same. Including now. =)
First of all, even if i pay, i would be my parents paying for it. Even if i pay it out of my own pocket, it's still my parents money. And besides, i'm not the only one with allowance if u know what i mean. Tatsuki said, 'if you invite the girl to come, then you should pay for her'. whats with the Should? is there such a thing as u SHOULD do something? It's always an option, whether or not u choose to do it or not. For example, one Should attend classes. It's a fact isnt it? But rule says, if you miss classes, you'll be punished. But still, there's lots of people who skip classes. Why? Dont rule say one cannot miss classes? Debbie said, 'it's the guy's courtesy to pay for the girl'. Does it mean that if the guy doesnt pay, he's faking the invitation? Or he's rude?
Last time, long ago, this tradition was so because the women are the ones that usually dont work and stay at home. Thus, they dont have financial income. That is why the guy pays for the girl. But now, both sexes work and yet, girls EXPECT the guys to pay for them. Why so? is it because the girls are looking down at themselves as being unable to support themselves? I dont know. What i believe is both are the same. I look upon girls as equals. Financially, educationally, and everything. Who gave girls the privilege? no one. Is there such a rule? no. Is the such a tradition? Yes. But issit followed by everyone? No. And who are those who follow? those who think that they are too rich, or they felt like treating the girl. It's not the duty for a man to treat women at all times. It's because he feels like it at that moment of time. Therefore, there's no such thing as a ShOuld in this arguement.
It's quite hard to actually put my thoughts into words, and besides, it's not really nice to blog about it anyway. So i therefore shall just leave it here. I SHALL say again. Everybody is Equal to me. And it's always fair that way. Bu still, how do one justify fairness? A thing is only fair when it's to the speaker's advantage. Take note. It's always the same. Including now. =)
posted by Lim He Hui at
7:26 PM
4 Comments:
Okay. Dude. Reading your post, I do see some serious flaws in your argument.
'For example, one Should attend classes. It's a fact isnt it? But rule says, if you miss classes, you'll be punished. But still, there's lots of people who skip classes. Why? Dont rule say one cannot miss classes?'
There's a difference between rules and courtesy, man. Not doing something because you aren't allowed to do it and not doing something because you feel you don't HAVE to do it aren't the same thing.
'Does it mean that if the guy doesnt pay, he's faking the invitation? Or he's rude?'
The least you can do is offer the courtesy of paying for her. If she declines, then don't do it. But why ask someone to attend a ball with you and expect her to pay her own way? Especially since she wouldn't even be attending otherwise because she's not a HELP student?
'That is why the guy pays for the girl. But now, both sexes work and yet, girls EXPECT the guys to pay for them. Why so? is it because the girls are looking down at themselves as being unable to support themselves? I dont know.'
No, it isn't because they're 'looking down at themselves'. Look, there are some things you do because it's POLITE to do so. Again, why the hell would you ask someone to be your date and expect them to pay their own way?
'Who gave girls the privilege? no one. Is there such a rule? no. Is the such a tradition? Yes. But issit followed by everyone? No.'
Look, again, you're looking at courtesy and rules as the same thing. Nobody 'gave' girls the privilege - you're right, it IS a tradition. There's no rule that dictates that guys have to pay for girls. And, accordingly, not everyone follows it. But courtesy isn't written in stone. You do it because it's the right thing to do, regardless of how you feel about gender equality.
'And who are those who follow? those who think that they are too rich, or they felt like treating the girl. It's not the duty for a man to treat women at all times. It's because he feels like it at that moment of time.'
Uh...no. Look, if you want to date a girl, you don't treat her because you 'feel like it.' How does that even follow? So every time you ask her to go out with you, she has to bring spare cash in case you don't 'feel like' paying for her? It may not be 'duty', but it's definitely courtesy. If a girl were to ask a guy out, she wouldn't have the right to expect him to pay for her, but if the guy asks the girl, he should at least treat her or, failing that, let her know up-front that he wants to split the bill. Treating them whenever you 'feel like it' is just being rude.
'Therefore, there's no such thing as a ShOuld in this arguement.'
Um. There kind of is. It's just that you seem to be confusing hard rules with common courtesy. Just because you don't HAVE to do something doesn't mean that you shouldn't. I don't HAVE to greet people when they say hi to me, but I do that anyway. Why? Because it would be rude not to.
'...and besides, it's not really nice to blog about it anyway.'
...but you just did.
'Bu still, how do one justify fairness? A thing is only fair when it's to the speaker's advantage.'
Uh. Okay. I thought being fair meant being just to everyone involved, and not just to one person.
Look, I know this isn't really any of my business, but like I said, I think you're confusing rules and courtesy, and that's a misconception that isn't going to help you in the long run. I know Mei Yin from primary school, and I'm not saying you have to pay for her, especially if she's agreed to pay for herself. Just recognize that some things are meant to be done whether or not you feel they have to be. Otherwise, you're just going to come across as a boorish idiot who doesn't really know what he's talking about.
yay someone mentioned me in a blog!
i never actually thought deeply about "Why" i "should" pay, but its always nice to be polite.
I'm the kind of person who is bound more by courtesy than rules, I go early to class out of respect to the teacher and not because of the rules. If i think the teacher is worthless, i would break the rules even with consequences.
so everyone's different. people act according to their own reasoning, so you really do not have to protect yourself with logic.
I would not criticize you for not paying for her really. If she agrees than no fuss.
the reason I have said "you should pay for her..." was mainly because well, she is willing to actually go to KL hilton, just for you, i dunno how long its going to last or whether to attend after-party, but the fact that she is coming, for YOU seems to be quite a big thing for me. the girl must be quite attached to you to pay for herself *hint hint.
Yo guys, eddie has joined the conversation! okay, I think it is just unfair to blame the guy if he cannot pay. There is a difference between whether he should and whether he can. Guys are humans, we have limitations, if so happen it has got to do with the money we have, then can the rest of the world please try and understand this dificiency?
I mean yes, i want to be courteous, but i cant, im sorry but i cant! So dump me! go ahead! hate me! i thought you said you going to 'love me for who I trully am'. And being able or not able financially does not represent the true me!
I tell you what I will do. Im trully sorry, I cannot afford to pay for whatever it is you want. Why dont I substitute that with extra understanding, extra concern, extra attention, extra time and everything else. Yes, I am lacking in this area of the relationship, but im not going to be lacking the other areas. I am going to give my best in all other areas. And that comes from the bottom of my heart. Is that a fair trade?
Sigh... maybe girls should go up to guys and ask, 'Can you afford me or not?' before they start dating...
I dont know... I thought we love through our heart... not our minds... what kind of debate is this? HAHA!
When you're married, you'll split the housework duties with your wife then? XD
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