sometimes thing just dont work out right for me. i'm having real terrible mood swings now and then. i can be screaming and jumping around with my friends one moment and just sit and stare the next. ever since i gave up on love stuff, i'm getting weirder. somehow, i dont really do much sports now. dota's also getting boring but i still play it because i cant access to any other things at times. i need to talk to someone, but when i start talking, everything goes blank. it's been 6 months since i last visited pasar malam, which i used to go like at least twice a month last time.

today i recieved a comforting message from my sis.
i miss you. the dessert was awesome but i wish u were here with me. it's the first time i'd ever went on a trip without my family.
this message gave me some warmth, but accidently, damnit! i deleted the message. sheez. i miss my sister terribly, but i feel so hopeless coz i cant do anything about it.

i feel as if i'm interested in someone, but i know it's impossible for us to be together, 1st becoz she wont like me, 2nd becoz i wont go after her. besides, i'm still very much in love with the previous girl, although there's no chance of us talking again. i still do visit ur blog once in a while, just to know that u're fine, just to let myself konw that u're fine.

i'm friendless. i still feel kinda fake when i mix around. i'm still a loner, trusting only myself fully. i have friends, loads of them, but no sincere, true ones. well, i do have a few of course, but new friends, not yet coz we dont seem to trust each other enough. sigh