Nature

The past week i'd been arguing loads of times about this. Why didn i pay for Mei Yin's prom ticket.
First of all, even if i pay, i would be my parents paying for it. Even if i pay it out of my own pocket, it's still my parents money. And besides, i'm not the only one with allowance if u know what i mean. Tatsuki said, 'if you invite the girl to come, then you should pay for her'. whats with the Should? is there such a thing as u SHOULD do something? It's always an option, whether or not u choose to do it or not. For example, one Should attend classes. It's a fact isnt it? But rule says, if you miss classes, you'll be punished. But still, there's lots of people who skip classes. Why? Dont rule say one cannot miss classes? Debbie said, 'it's the guy's courtesy to pay for the girl'. Does it mean that if the guy doesnt pay, he's faking the invitation? Or he's rude?
Last time, long ago, this tradition was so because the women are the ones that usually dont work and stay at home. Thus, they dont have financial income. That is why the guy pays for the girl. But now, both sexes work and yet, girls EXPECT the guys to pay for them. Why so? is it because the girls are looking down at themselves as being unable to support themselves? I dont know. What i believe is both are the same. I look upon girls as equals. Financially, educationally, and everything. Who gave girls the privilege? no one. Is there such a rule? no. Is the such a tradition? Yes. But issit followed by everyone? No. And who are those who follow? those who think that they are too rich, or they felt like treating the girl. It's not the duty for a man to treat women at all times. It's because he feels like it at that moment of time. Therefore, there's no such thing as a ShOuld in this arguement.
It's quite hard to actually put my thoughts into words, and besides, it's not really nice to blog about it anyway. So i therefore shall just leave it here. I SHALL say again. Everybody is Equal to me. And it's always fair that way. Bu still, how do one justify fairness? A thing is only fair when it's to the speaker's advantage. Take note. It's always the same. Including now. =)

Boredom

I used this title many times already.. i know.. dont remind me =)
It's been a week plus i'm home alone. BORED la ok. and there's nothing much to blog aobut anyway. Yesterday went to Glenn's surprise party, hmm... they once again failed to get me dancing.. wakaka. Auntie Nikka literally forced everyone to dance by playing a dancing game. lol. i managed to escape without a number, ( which is to be randomly picked for guys and girls which will end up with a partner ). Zhen lun got number 23, which has no partner, lucky he. lolx. i wonder how long more i can escape dancing if i continue go to dancing parties.. argh.
anyway, i got bored of blogging to. ciaoz

Friends

Friends. Simple term. Yet Complicated. So much to say. So deep it is. Some worth being. Some not. Anyway, today i just thought back of a friend i once used to have, bringing me back down the vista of years, till i see, 2 boys walking up the hill, talking and chattering away happily....
I was sitting at the front row, looking hatefully at Shao Heung due to many factors. Lets not get into it. It was back in form 1, where i was in 1'o'. Anyway, it was around Febuary if i'm not mistaken, where this friend of mine, walked into class. ( Lets just refer to him as 'SI' ) Shao Heung was like 'omg it's SI..' It is because Si is also one of my primary schoolmates. Oh well, i remember him walking into calss, feeling very lost, and he sat at the back of the class where he ended up with Michael and WL and gang. Recess that day, i invited him to come and eat with me, and Lek Khee. I was being nice to him, and i brought him around MBS, introducing all the places to him and stuff although i'm only there for only a month. Explaining stupid school rules, on well. You get the picture. Basically that year we were just normal friends, we do talk and stuff. That year flew past and basically we were just friends.
At the end of form 1, i phoned him to invite him to join my BM tuition with Cikgu Norhayati, because we were lacking of students at that moment of time. Besides, i also told him aobut the bus i'm taking, and yea, he basically joined my bus. I cant exactly remember what class he was in form 2, but i was in 2 'M'. Unless i'm very much mistaken, he's in 2'o'. So, basically that year we weren't very close due to different calsses, and he joined into Wing Luo and Michaels foot/basket-ball gang. Back then, we used to talk back to my home together, for BM tuition. We had interesting conversations, and we always thought how similiar we are to each other. As in we both laugh at the same things, we both can do things other boys cant do, ( eg. cooking, sewing etc. etc. ) And not to forget that we both hate Kheng Hong who is the blowwater king. ( i'd probably tell u how my friendship with him is some other time, which is less interesting than this, but much more happy than this ) We did our projects together, ( which is basically i did and he write his name ) and lotsa stuff. Oh yea, i just remembered, we played loads of 'GO' on paper that year.
Form 3. Yea. Interesting year. One fine day, Michael Loo came up to me a and asked me to try out playing star wars miniatures. That year was REvenge of the Sith year, so things were damn hot. After some persuasion, they managed to get me started. And thats my first time playing lame-o card games, so called strategic games, which is a total waste of time and money. In the middle of the year, Chen Choong came up to me and said, 'i know u might not believe me, but i still think it's better for me to warn u. As u know, i sit in front of them ( SI and Michael who are best friends *did i mention*? ) and i do sometimes overhear their conversations. From what i heard, they are making a profit whenever they sell you those cards. ' he was a really good guy and he chose to tell me. Too bad i was stupid and i asked Si about it, and he said they didn. Since i was very close to SI that time, i chose to believe him. Though deep down i knew Michael conned me in one way or another. Well, i spent a total of a thousand plus on those stupid things, but later when i started selling them it cut down to a loss of around 600-700. From here i would want to link back to some convo's.
Me : Michael i want to buy the R2D2.
Michael : Hmm. it costs RM80.. I bought it for Rm60 but u know la.. i have to cover some of my costs also..
and therefor i bought it for Rm80. That was the ONLY time he was being truthful about his profit. It is because he once told me he bought it for RM60. anyways, compare the one below..
Si: ei sell me that charactor la.. for 40..
Me : aiyo.. i wan earn cannot mer..
Si : aiya u also know i poor ma.. friend also wan earn mer..
Me : ...
Si : at least i ont asking u to sell me for 35.. i still cover ur cost u know?
Me : ok la fine la..
SImiliar thing happened when michael sells things to si. He doesnt cheat him because he's his best friend.
Anyway, things went on and it was form 4.
Basically he started to move to the back of the class to his other friends. When he's with me he always says that he doesnt have friends in this class, and i'm the only one he can actually communicate to. Oh well, things were just normal in form 4. Relationship dropped slightly, but always regained when our BM tuition time comes. Ohya, he started to ponteng BM tuition to go play dota with his friends. I'd always been there when he needed help for his studies, or trying to get him away from bad influences.
Form 5, i konw this is getting long. I'll only highlight the 2 things that happened, which is also the main reason of why i wrote this blog today.
Item one : He and Michael stole my book during Bio Mid year exam. ( or was it trails? )
When i lost my book, i asked all around for my book, including him, but they all answered that they didn see it. It was paper 2 that day. Few days later, was paper 3. Cut long story short, CcM lost his book. And he knew the last persons to be around his book was Si and Michael. So he reported. * oh btw it's the success reference book* Choo found a book in the toilet, which happens to be my book, but CcM's book was still lost. That day evening, Si called me and ask me to trust him that He and michael did not steal ccm's book becoz they were accused to be. I trusted him. A few weeks later, CcM's book too appeared mysteriously on his desk.
i shall come back to the explanation of this shortly.
Item 2. He blamed everything on me.
It was before trails. We went to CC together. PLayed till 5.30 and i said i cant play coz my mum will be home soon. He sorta begged me for another game but i said NO. I went home. Sadly, my mum was back, and she asked why i was so late. I just said i had stuff to do in school, and thats it. Shortly after my bath, my house phone rang, Si's mum called me. He asked me where Si is coz she's worried. i said i dunno, coz i didn see him. Basically to give him more space to argue with his mum, so that he can say anything he wants. Few minutes later, HIs mum called again and ASked me very sternly whether i did or did not see him today. Coz according to her, Si said that he was with me all day. *pause* up till here, the lie already burst isnt it? *cont* So after a while, the phone call ended. Right after that, Phone rang again. Si called and sohuted through the phone and asked me to agree taht i was with him, studying in school all day. i was like wtf?! and that it was raining so heavily that the bus couldnt move. due to flood and stuff. BIG WHITE LIE. It was a sunny day btw.He passed his pohne to his mum again. Anyway, i tried to fit in and said probably i was in front of the bus and i didn notice him behind me, and that once i went on the bus i slept ad.. Utter garbage. Anyway, no more calls after the third. Next day and from that day onwards, he didn talk to me. At first i felt very uneasy coz a friend for so long suddenly isnt talking to me. Aiks. U get the picture. But i got used to it in the end. He too shouted at me the next day : happy ad la u now? i kena fuck by my mum! All ur fault!'
DAys after that, CcM came up to me and tell me, i know u r friends with si, but i still gotta tell u this. He and michael stole ur book and left it in the toilet, apparently to try and cheat during exams. They lost your book, so they saw mine and thought i wouldnt bother, so they stole mine to replace urs.
Bottom line is, Si is a good guy. He's still very good at the bottom of his heart. I bet he felt guilty when he stole my book, thats why he avoided me. And that i think he's the one who persuaded michael to steal a book to replace mine.. But michael is the bad influence. I heard that they stole a phone during spm. victim keh bin aka rubbish bin =)
Right after the last paper of SPM he talked to me, trying to be friendly all again, and he said he'll call me during the hols. I think he expected me to forgive him and to call him, but no, sorry. I chose not to and i learnt to live without him. SPM result taking day he talked to me again, and i just cin cai answer him.
From once best friends to total strangers.. sad eh?

Sorry

Yesterday i'd done something wrong, and i finally felt how hard it is to say sorry when one is truly wrong and the other person is really dissapointed.
Last month i reformatted my computer. For like four times in a day. So basically everything was washed out. I lent Xiao Yan's harddisk to backup the files i wanted, then reformatted, again and again, until some problems were solved, ok done. I put back in the files i want.
Then i realised that my firewall will automatically turn itself off, and my WMP also will shut down after 3 minutes of usage. But the damage wasnt exaclty huge, so i didn do anything. Then my mum asked me to copy her pictures from India so that the camera has more space to take photos in Tasik Kenyir.
She also asked me to burn them into a CD, but at that moment, i dont have the programme to write CD's so i told her it's impossible for me to do so but it's safe to put it into the harddrive. I also told her that if she want them to be burnt into a CD, she can always go to the shops outside and get it done.
On the way to Tasik Kenyir, my mum asked me to delete all the photos in the camera to make space, so i did.
When we come back, my Comp crashed. This time, after 2-3 hours of usage, explorer will automatically shut down and will lag every half hour. So i decided to reformat again, but this time i'll only reformat C drive since all my registry are there. So i copied the files i want into d drive and thats that. I also copied my mum's photos into the D drive.
Reformatted again. 3 times this time. Coz eugene's disk disable my sound system and therefore i have to reformat again. Anyway, after it is done, i just left it.
Yesterday, my mum asked me to burn her photos into a CD. I opened the folder, and there's only around 10 photos left. WHAT THE HECK. i had around 3k photos there. And it's all gone. Besides, my whole o2jam offline is gone too. SOMEHOW.
Those pictures from India were my mum's best photos, since it's her very first try into manualling the camera. And it's all gone. She even said that she hated me. The fault wasnt entirely mine, but i understood the dissapointment. Thats why i held back my temper and stuff. My mum almost cried.
So many times i tried to say sorry, but it just cant come out. Although she forgave me, but i cant forgive myself..

Random post

lots of stuff came and went.. but i cant really find anything to blog aobut. i mean, there are.. but it's just that when u have the heart to blog about it, u wont have a computer around.. and when u just passed that blogging phase, the computer comes.. haih.
i'm basically damn tired... yea.. that phrase sums up all i've been up to