現在是淩晨1點50分

後天又考試

大後天要交project

沒人能幫我

真的要崩潰了

偏偏在這個時候，

連個講話的對象都沒有

我真的很失敗

UK Standards

My essay

lecturer's comments was

content : a number of thoughtful points - good.

organisation : the arguement structure could be tighter ~ you wander around a bit.

spelling, grammer & refs : mostly quite well writer. refs should be included in the end.

and guess what? my score is 66. not even a first.

=.=

she took marks off for writing

Machines doesnt

instead of

Machines dont

lovely.

but at least i'm considered an ok writer ha ha. heck with the marks. =.=

Gosh

Heck, after laughing at my cousins, siblings, friends, i'm going to be 20 this year.

Last night i couldnt go to sleep, so i began looking back at what sort of nonsense i did last time, and i found, nothing. seriously, it seems like i've wasted my entire life. i have not been someone, never been. spent high school being a nobody, college was pretty much the same.

and truth is, i was scared, and of course, i was lazy. whenever an opportunity comes by for me to be somebody, i chicken out, starting with being scared, then being lazy to re-grab the opportunity.

to heck with this.

white teenagers are often looked upon by us malaysians as being really 'grown up' and all, but it's not true. in fact, they're even more childish than us, but we view them as mature adults for 1 sole reason, they make their own decisions. seriously. look back in ur life. whenever some shit happens to you, tell me the 1st thing that comes to your mind is not ur parents. when u have a car accident, lost a book, this and that. i'll be honest with myself, i couldnt have decided most of the decisions if not for my parents. british people however, decide on their own, work for it, and if it's a mistake, they own up.

grow up.

my dad previously sent me a video, from a famous lecturer who is dying, giving his last lecture. that dude said :

"an apology has three parts.

1. i'm sorry

2. it's my fault.

3. what can i do to make it right?

most people forget the third part, or they just dont care"

how true is this? i admit, it's so freaking difficult to even say i'm sorry when i really do make a mistake, and it's mostly due to my ego.

i suppose being laid back and not grabbing opportunities is what made me not being able to get what i want as well, from a simple candy to studies to girls.

to hell with that.

change is coming

阿嬤的話

在細漢的時陣阮阿嬤對我尚好　甲尚好的東西攏會留乎我

伊嘛定定帶我去幼稚園看人在七桃　看人在辦公伙兒　看人在覓相找

伊定定跟阮說　叫阮著要好好仔讀冊　嘸通大漢像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狽ㄛ

在彼個時陣　阮攏聽攏嘸　阿嬤　妳到底是在講什麼

大漢了後　才知影阿嬤的話　我會甲永遠永遠放塊心肝底

＊想到一步一步的過去　定定攏會乎人真難忘

　時間一分一秒塊過去　在阮的心內定定攏會想到伊

＃阿嬤妳今嘛在叨位　阮在叫妳妳甘有聽到

　阮的認真甲阮的成功妳甘有看到　阮在叫妳妳知影沒

　阿嬤妳今嘛過的好麼　甘有人塊甲妳照顧

　希望後世人阮擱會凍來乎妳疼　作妳永遠的孫仔　擱叫妳一聲阿嬤

song of my day :D

it's in hokkien, sorry for those who cant read hokkien :D:D

and to yc, babi la u. got post liao very proud arrr? XD

stuck in snow, freak freak freaking hungry. 2 days eat 2 meals only lol. and those 2 meals also is shin ryamen lol. damn sad =.=