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Just coming here to write something to warm up this stagnant blog. Havent been feeling like updating lately.. Nothing much to blog about anyway, it has just been exams, exams, and exams.

Been pretty moody lately.. due to god know what reasons..

I'm really blank.

I might seem to be in some shitty love problem, but no. It's been a while since i actually cared about stuffs about love. Lately it's been something else bothering me. Something big. Something heavy. In fact, too heavy for me to carry.

At this moment, i'm rather depressed.

(untitled)

Today Lily asked me.
' Hey, aren't u happy that she broke up? I mean, you sohuld be right? Since like at least if u can't have her, don't you wish that she can't have anyone too?'
I replied.
' I dont know. I am not happy la. It's just.. I dont care what happens to her and her relationships actually, since i only want her to be happy. Whoever she is going to be with, or is with, or when anything happens to her.. And besides, I still have to face the fact that she can Never like me. '

Sometimes i do wonder why she just cant like me. Maybe it's because i aint good looking enough, or maybe it's because i've pissed her off before. Maybe maybe maybe.. Maybe it's because i am not good enough for her, Maybe because of personality, or whatever. Bottom line is, I Dont Know. Bottom Bottom line is, she Wont like me =)

Or maybe i just cant be anything more than a friend for her.

I find it hard to blog about feelings these few days. Somehow. My mind just turns Blank when i start typing. Unlike previously.

ZZZZZZ wtf is this. CL ( a girl, if u dunno, pls refer to the blog post around 5-6 posts b4 this i'm not really sure ) Just PM'ed me in MSN. Wow that sparked me up. I replied ' hey. lol u today too free ar? ' cause she normally NEVER find me. After my reply, she didn reply for 2-3 minutes. I typed again ' lol u find wrong person issit ' and she replied 'ya' WHAT THE ............................................. KNEW IT LA! GOod things will NEVER happen to me. NEVER. the day they happen is the die i die.

ZZZ. that just spoiled my mood. Byez

Falling apart..

what am i supposed to do? TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP? blargh.
mocks coming soon, and i know NUTS about anything. i'm so screwed.

Randomoisity

Today went to some friends blog, and to realise that their blog is going emo due to love stuffs lol! Probably end of year, Spm time is like a breaking time since it's the parting of ways. to go to college, to not, blah blah blah.
Like i care.
I couldnt be bothered by 'love' right now.
So much for being in love and getting weird again and again.
Now all i bloody care is the STUPIAK ulsers in my FREAKING mouth.
When is the CB bracers coming off.
a year =.=
OMG HOW U PEOPLE TAHAN ONE!
it's only second day. and i have like what, 5-6 ulsers d.
i really regret getting bracers.
it's not as if i do it for looks =.= more of hygiene purposes =.=
if u ask me to do this again for looks, i'll fart in ur face i tell u.
blargh.

Feelings

How would it feel,
to like someone who is impossible for u to be with?
How would it feel,
to like someone who already has someone else?
How would it feel,
to see that someone being unhappy and you are powerless to do anything?

I see no future.
I see no hope.
I see things falling apart.
Things which that someone tells you.
And yet,
you have to answer while you are
conflicting against yourself,
to help that someone heal the situation,
and be once happy with someone else?
Or to help her get out of it,
so that you get a chance?

The 2 souls in you combat,
and when you reply that someone,
it always go both ways,
you always provide a choice for that someone,
to go either back to someone else,
or you.
Discipline is required to not get biased on either side,
to be equal, so that things may be whats best for that someone.
Does it matter if she appreciates?
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Nothing more than that.
Because you can't hope for anything more.

To conflict with someone you love is torture,
to conflict within yourself is disastrous.

To love you is my choice,
and yet,
it's a sin,
against myself.

Some Day.

It started out as a usual day, me lazing around, listening to lecturers, well, u get the idea. Somehow, i got sleepyy... keep losing my train of thoughts, and start to STONEEE..
Finally class finished.. Dex, Fux, Eugene, Angie, etc etc heading off to one U for BOND. OMGG!!! i wanted to go =.= but too bad, having a dental appointment with Dr. Tan at 2.45. have to giv the movie a miss. Thus, to kill that 2 hours and 45 mins, i visited a long lost friend. Cyber Cafe! haha. this is the 2nd time this year i went CC. Dota'ed with some people there.. one of my worst games lol. Broodmother lvl 18 with threads and BKB only =.= thank goodness my team didn diu me. Coz i didn feed haha. Anyways, went to get my separator stuck in my teeth again, and i left.
While driving back on LokeYew, i reached 110km/h, to only realise that i am so tired that i dozed off lol. well actually, i was just stoning. Thankfully not for long =.= While driving, i began an inner fight, to eat or not eat mcD. Eventually i went. And the first thing i saw was OMFG! LONG QUEUE. then the next thing i saw was a pair of STRIKINGLY ( ugly xD ) pink pants which seem really familiar. Black shirt. Oh. yeah. that combination belongs to someone =.= Got one boy beside her.. Hui Yee!! Called that blur fella who dont recognise my car. haha.
Drove home, reached 110 again. Then suddenly an idiot motorbike SHOT PAST ME WHILE I"M DRIVING 110! guess who? white motorbike, blue stripes. POLICE. nt bad eh. Speed limit is 80, i'm 30 over it, that police at least 30-40 over me. That makes him,, 140-150?

Silently in love. you are 'busy', but i'll be silently watching ur back. Unlike the previous attempts, i will be silent this time. Just to be there for you. Since there's not much point for me to go after anyone anymore.
I'm ready to laugh when you do, i'm ready to catch when u fall.

Weird Stuffs

Today 2 weird things happened.
1. Right after college, i noticed my car was blocked by another car parking behind me =.= ILLEGAL PARKER. i called the number, then the girl said that OK OK I"M COMING. while i waited in my car, 3 person went past. The first was a boy. so obviuosly, it wasnt the car owner. 2nd was a Fat girl. ANd i was like OMFG U FATTY. HOW DARE U PARK BEHIND MY CARR!!. then she walked past. lol. Then 3rd was THE girl. lol.. she looked kinda ok, from far quite pretty in fact LOL and i was like.. Hmm.. FIne LAA!! lol notice how LOOKS actually decide ur fate when it's 1st time meeting HAHA. and i actually contacted her after that =( at least i made a friend. an illegal parking friend. Her name's Chia Wen LOL.
2. Ah long came to my street today. Went around sending flyers about Someone who didn pay up their borrowingss.. No details. Coz i'm not mentioning lol.

haha..

just recieved this today... MUAHAHAHHAA... too bad for those who cannot read chinese =)
yesterday went to HELP psychology department's halloween night =) aha... edward was happy =) it was meant for him anyway lol... i will post photo's either here or in fb soon.. stay tuned =)

another post, BEST QUOTES EVER!!!~
1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..


3. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

4. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

5. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

Witty isnt it? Just for laughs!